Boxscore
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press) Yikes! RNR has just completed a game in which they, proverbially speaking, electrocuted the dog with a toaster. To point fingers after this debacle would be unfair given that this most assuredly was a team effort - and that's the only positive spin I can put on the game. And so now it stands that PC leads the all-time series 21-15 against RNR. PC has a 1-2 regular season record. RNR has a 0-3 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw PC has decaffeinated RNR as though they were horses being sent to the glue factory 50-19 in front of a despondent home crowd. Things went very well for the PC squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 296 points, 185 on offense and 111 on defense. Alex Smith with 34 points on offense and DeAndre Levy with 17 points on defense were the top scorers. Things were not all roses, however. Said Coach/GM Glenn Good, "There were some mental breakdowns on both sides of the ball.. For one, Heath Miller performed like a spasmodic violinist. That procedure he had a couple weeks back... labotomy, I think Doc said - well, that thing has done wonders for his game. He just stands in there and takes it now - play after play after play. No more of this whining about being too hurt. Doc is brilliant, I say. As for those DST? They showed all the football grace of ballerinas as they filled the record book with 5 Punt returns defended, 146 Defended punt return yardage, 29.2 Defended punt return average, 3 Defended kickoff returns, 99 Defended kickoff return yardage, 33 Defended kickoff return average over the course of the contest. Overall though, the Doc's been looking into a revolutionary new surgery - replace his hands with anything - stickum, chicken claws, even bricks would be an improvement. I mean, he drops balls as if they were live ferrets. in this game was Keith Rivers. His hideous effort yielded as many positives as a hydrogen ion. Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Glenn Good groaned, "Thinking about them forces me to draw parallels between them and the Bulgarians." He was quick to add, "Erm, the Byzantine Empire had to deal with those clods... made themselves quite a nuisance 'til Basil crushed 'em and cut their eyes out - well, he left a couple of 'em with one eye so's they could guide the others home. I can't help but think that motivations such as that would help their cause." In response, the RNR coach considered this when he said, "Thinking about them forces me to draw parallels between them and the Bulgarians." He was quick to add, "Erm, the Byzantine Empire had to deal with those clods... made themselves quite a nuisance 'til Basil crushed 'em and cut their eyes out - well, he left a couple of 'em with one eye so's they could guide the others home. I can't help but think that motivations such as that would help their cause." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||