| Off | Def | Total | Score |
|---|
| Away | Westside Smoke | 226 | 83 | 309 | 45 | | Home | Oakland Assassins | 183 | 136 | 319 | 50 |
| Oakland Assassins |
Westside Smoke |
|---|
| I | Johnny Manziel QB CLE | 0 |
| I | Alex Tanney QB ??? | 0 |
| S | Matt Ryan QB ATL | 32 |
| I | Brian Hoyer QB CLE | 0 |
| S | T.J. Yates QB ATL | 0 |
| S | Sean Renfree QB ATL | 0 |
| I | Brian De La Puente OC CHI | 0 |
| S | Kory Lichtensteiger OC WAS | 7 |
| I | Max Unger OC SEA | 0 |
| S | Justin Blalock OG ATL | 12 |
| S | Dan Connolly OG NE | 3 |
| I | Matt Slauson OG CHI | 0 |
| S | Andrew Gardner OT PHI | 0 |
| S | Jason Peters OT PHI | 3 |
| I | Chris Clark OT DEN | 0 |
| S | LeSean McCoy RB PHI | 3 |
| I | Christine Michael RB SEA | 0 |
| B | Stevan Ridley RB NE | 1 |
| B | James Starks RB GB | 0 |
| I | Jonathan Stewart RB CAR | 0 |
| I | Maurice Jones-Drew RB LV | 0 |
| B | Darren McFadden RB LV | 3 |
| B | James Jones WR LV | 4 |
| I | Paul Richardson WR SEA | 0 |
| B | Duke Williams S BUF | 1 |
| I | Stedman Bailey WR LAR | 0 |
| I | Tavon Austin WR LAR | 0 |
| I | Kenny Britt WR LAR | 0 |
| B | Steve Johnson WR SF | 2 |
| S | Dez Bryant WR DAL | 14 |
| S | Travis Kelce TE KC | 38 |
| I | Dennis Pitta TE BAL | 0 |
| S | Mychal Rivera TE LV | 6 |
| S | Eric Ebron TE DET | 19 |
| B | Jordan Reed TE WAS | 0 |
| I | Jordan Cameron TE CLE | 0 |
| S | Phil Dawson K SF | 24 |
| I | Ryan Succop K TEN | 0 |
| S | Atlanta OST ATL | 7 |
| I | Kansas City OST KC | 0 |
| I | Dion Jordan DE MIA | 0 |
| B | Everson Griffen DE MIN | 2 |
| S | Jurrell Casey NT TEN | 6 |
| I | Aldon Smith OLB SF | 0 |
| B | Terrell Suggs OLB BAL | 3 |
| B | Bjoern Werner OLB IND | 1 |
| S | Rob Ninkovich DE NE | 2 |
| S | Nigel Bradham OLB BUF | 12 |
| B | Miles Burris OLB LV | 5 |
| S | Keenan Robinson ILB WAS | 17 |
| S | Jason Pierre-Paul DE NYG | 6 |
| I | Karlos Dansby ILB CLE | 0 |
| S | DeMeco Ryans ILB PHI | 7 |
| I | Sio Moore OLB LV | 0 |
| S | Tahir Whitehead OLB DET | 12 |
| I | Zach Brown ILB TEN | 0 |
| B | Johnthan Banks CB TB | 1 |
| B | E.J. Biggers CB WAS | 1 |
| S | Brent Grimes CB MIA | 6 |
| S | David Amerson CB WAS | 8 |
| B | Roman Harper S CAR | 3 |
| B | Kenny Vaccaro S NO | 5 |
| S | Johnathan Cyprien S JAC | 5 |
| S | D.J. Swearinger S HOU | 5 |
| S | Tress Way P WAS | 25 |
| S | Kansas City DST KC | 4 |
|
| S | Andrew Luck QB IND | 53 |
| I | Mike Glennon QB TB | 0 |
| S | Chandler Harnish QB ??? | 0 |
| I | Mike Kafka QB TB | 0 |
| I | Josh McCown QB TB | 0 |
| S | Matt Hasselbeck QB IND | 0 |
| S | A.Q. Shipley OC IND | 13 |
| I | Dominic Raiola OC DET | 0 |
| I | Shawn Lauvao OG WAS | 0 |
| S | Charlie Johnson OG MIN | 18 |
| S | Ramon Foster OG PIT | 0 |
| I | Shelley Smith OG MIA | 0 |
| S | Cordy Glenn OT BUF | 6 |
| S | Anthony Castonzo OT IND | 13 |
| I | Russell Okung OT SEA | 0 |
| B | Dri Archer RB PIT | 0 |
| S | Pierre Thomas RB NO | 5 |
| B | Ryan Mathews RB LAC | 0 |
| B | Joe McKnight RB KC | 0 |
| S | Steve Smith WR BAL | 36 |
| I | Demaryius Thomas WR DEN | 0 |
| S | Reggie Wayne WR IND | 28 |
| S | DeSean Jackson WR WAS | 2 |
| B | Devin Hester WR ATL | 5 |
| B | Jason Avant WR KC | 1 |
| B | Dion Sims TE MIA | 6 |
| B | Logan Paulsen TE WAS | 3 |
| S | Delanie Walker TE TEN | 27 |
| B | Benjamin Watson TE NO | 3 |
| I | Chandler Catanzaro K ARI | 0 |
| S | Nick Folk K NYJ | 7 |
| S | New Orleans OST NO | 0 |
| S | Justin Tuck DE LV | 3 |
| I | Wallace Gilberry DE CIN | 0 |
| B | Robert Ayers DE NYG | 1 |
| I | Adrian Clayborn DE TB | 0 |
| S | Damon Harrison NT NYJ | 4 |
| B | Calvin Pace OLB NYJ | 0 |
| S | Kyle Wilber OLB DAL | 0 |
| S | Clay Matthews OLB GB | 8 |
| I | Thomas Davis OLB CAR | 0 |
| S | Jared Allen DE CHI | 0 |
| I | Robert Mathis OLB ??? | 0 |
| I | Joe Mays ILB KC | 0 |
| S | Donald Butler ILB LAC | 13 |
| I | Jerrell Freeman ILB IND | 0 |
| S | Joplo Bartu ILB ATL | 0 |
| B | Michael Wilhoite ILB SF | 1 |
| I | Dannell Ellerbe OLB MIA | 0 |
| S | Greg Toler CB IND | 2 |
| B | Carlos Rogers CB LV | 5 |
| B | Tim Jennings CB CHI | 3 |
| B | Cary Williams CB PHI | 4 |
| S | Bradley Fletcher CB PHI | 8 |
| S | LaRon Landry S IND | 3 |
| I | Rodney McLeod S LAR | 0 |
| S | Antonio Allen S NYJ | 6 |
| B | Isa Abdul-Quddus S DET | 1 |
| I | Tony Jefferson S ARI | 0 |
| B | Ryan Clark S WAS | 6 |
| B | Corey White CB NO | 2 |
| S | Pat McAfee P IND | 13 |
| I | Drew Butler P ARI | 0 |
| S | New Orleans DST NO | 0 |
|
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press)
Andrew Luck droned, "We know it's going to be a hard-fought game when we play these clowns - tough, physical... It's important to win the physical football games because you put so much into it. We didn't do that today. Every time I looked up, I heard the crowd and I figured it was another turnover. It's tough to lose when you've worked all week. Mentally, you have to let it go." Well no kidding, Einstein. TH was bad. Awful. Grotesque. An embarrassment to the league, I dare say. Yikes! TH has just completed a game in which they, proverbially speaking, set fire to my neighbor's gaudy yard art. To point fingers after this debacle would be unfair given that this most assuredly was a team effort - and that's the only positive spin I can put on the game.
So now the series stands OA leads the all-time series 5-2 against TH. OA has a 3-1 regular season record. TH has a 2-2 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw OA pulverizing TH like a mink that suddenly finds that a family of mice has taken up residence in her den 50-44 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd.
Things went very well for the OA squad on both sides of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 320 points, 182 on offense and 138 on defense. Travis Kelce with 38 points on offense and Tress Way with 25 points on defense were the top scorers. All that aside, Doc's been looking into a revolutionary new surgery - replace his hands with anything - stickum, chicken claws, even bricks would be an improvement. I mean, he drops balls as if they were live ferrets. of the game goes to Matt Slauson. Some players need a bit more instruction than others. I've tried a few less orthodox teaching tools from time to time..."
Says Matt Slauson, pouring out of a far-too-tight yellow bikini, "I have nothing to say about this."
Stevan Ridley added, "Words fail me... got it? I ain't had a single night's sleep since coach made that call last Monday, man. I keep waking up screaming. I mean dang, man... time to put some time on the thigh-master."
There's no love lost between these two clubs. Adam Murgittroyd waxed poetic, stating, "Sheesh... just mentioning their scaly hides makes me feel very unclean. They're wretched, infantile little sewer rats and I don't want to get dragged into a discussion about them. Any other questions? I need to bathe." In response, the TH coach quipped, "He and his lecherous team of cub scouts have all the football grace of a French eunuch trying to ride a bull suffering from mad cow's disease while reciting the
Gettysburg Address." |
