| Off | Def | Total | Score |
|---|
| Away | Punxsutawney Chucks | 145 | 107 | 252 | 17 | | Home | The Spanish Inquisition | 193 | 111 | 304 | 43 |
| The Spanish Inquisition |
Punxsutawney Chucks |
|---|
| S | Matthew Stafford QB DET | 50 |
| I | Drew Stanton QB ARI | 0 |
| S | Kellen Moore QB DET | 0 |
| I | Carson Palmer QB ARI | 0 |
| S | Dan Orlovsky QB DET | 0 |
| S | Luke Bowanko OL JAC | 3 |
| I | JC Tretter OC GB | 0 |
| S | Andy Levitre OG TEN | 6 |
| I | Manny Ramirez OC DEN | 0 |
| S | Alex Boone OG SF | 8 |
| I | Kevin Zeitler OG CIN | 0 |
| I | Dennis Kelly OT PHI | 0 |
| S | Doug Free OT DAL | 14 |
| I | Joe Staley OT SF | 0 |
| S | Zach Strief OT NO | 9 |
| S | Cordarrelle Patterson WR MIN | 6 |
| I | Adrian Peterson RB MIN | 0 |
| S | Rashad Jennings RB NYG | 8 |
| B | Roy Helu RB WAS | 4 |
| I | Ronnie Hillman RB DEN | 0 |
| I | A.J. Green WR CIN | 0 |
| S | Brandin Cooks WR NO | 9 |
| S | Jeremy Maclin WR PHI | 15 |
| B | Andre Johnson WR HOU | 2 |
| B | Clay Harbor TE JAC | 4 |
| S | Charles Clay TE MIA | 23 |
| B | Austin Seferian-Jenkins TE TB | 4 |
| B | Richard Rodgers TE GB | 4 |
| I | Logan Thomas QB ARI | 0 |
| I | Billy Cundiff K CLE | 0 |
| I | Greg Zuerlein K LAR | 0 |
| S | Minnesota OST MIN | 20 |
| S | Clinton McDonald DT TB | 6 |
| B | Ezekiel Ansah DE DET | 3 |
| S | Chris Clemons DE JAC | 0 |
| S | Johnathan Hankins DT NYG | 1 |
| I | Emmanuel Lamur OLB CIN | 0 |
| S | Jamie Collins OLB NE | 7 |
| I | Barkevious Mingo OLB CLE | 0 |
| I | Deone Bucannon S ARI | 0 |
| B | Justin Durant MLB DAL | 9 |
| B | Dane Fletcher MLB TB | 3 |
| B | Jason Trusnik MLB MIA | 3 |
| I | Kyle Van Noy OLB DET | 0 |
| I | Demarcus Lawrence DE DAL | 0 |
| S | Chandler Jones DE NE | 0 |
| B | Brandon Spikes MLB BUF | 3 |
| S | Luke Kuechly MLB CAR | 13 |
| S | Dekoda Watson OLB DAL | 1 |
| B | Rolando McClain MLB DAL | 3 |
| I | Justin Gilbert CB CLE | 0 |
| I | D.J. Hayden CB LV | 0 |
| B | Dee Milliner CB NYJ | 0 |
| S | Alterraun Verner CB TB | 7 |
| S | Sean Smith CB KC | 12 |
| I | Leon Hall CB CIN | 0 |
| S | Harrison Smith S MIN | 11 |
| S | Ryan Mundy S CHI | 8 |
| I | T.J. McDonald S LAR | 0 |
| B | Winston Guy S JAC | 0 |
| B | Chris Conte S CHI | 2 |
| S | Sam Martin P DET | 19 |
| S | Oakland DST LV | 0 |
| I | Philadelphia DST PHI | 0 |
|
| S | Derek Anderson QB CAR | 10 |
| S | Cam Newton QB CAR | 23 |
| I | Tyler Bray QB ??? | 0 |
| S | Joe Webb QB CAR | 0 |
| I | Chase Daniel QB KC | 0 |
| I | Alex Smith QB KC | 0 |
| S | Jonathan Goodwin OC NO | 8 |
| I | Maurkice Pouncey OC PIT | 0 |
| S | Hugh Thornton OG IND | 0 |
| I | J.R. Sweezy OG SEA | 0 |
| S | Rob Sims OG DET | 6 |
| S | Erik Pears OT BUF | 6 |
| I | Andre Smith OT CIN | 0 |
| S | Tyler Polumbus OT WAS | 8 |
| B | Silas Redd RB WAS | 0 |
| B | Alfred Blue RB HOU | 1 |
| I | Ka'Deem Carey RB CHI | 0 |
| S | Ahmad Bradshaw RB IND | 13 |
| I | Knowshon Moreno RB MIA | 0 |
| B | Bilal Powell RB NYJ | 0 |
| I | Giovani Bernard RB CIN | 0 |
| S | Carlos Hyde RB SF | 4 |
| I | Tre Mason RB LAR | 0 |
| I | Larry Fitzgerald WR ARI | 0 |
| B | Nate Washington WR TEN | 1 |
| S | Dwayne Bowe WR KC | 14 |
| S | Garrett Graham TE HOU | 13 |
| S | Heath Miller TE PIT | 25 |
| B | Brandon Pettigrew TE DET | 3 |
| B | Brandon Myers TE TB | 2 |
| I | Brandon McManus K DEN | 0 |
| I | Matt Prater K DET | 0 |
| I | Kai Forbath K WAS | 0 |
| I | Saint Louis OST LAR | 0 |
| S | Tampa Bay OST TB | 8 |
| I | Desmond Bryant DE CLE | 0 |
| S | Randy Starks DT MIA | 0 |
| B | Elvis Dumervil OLB BAL | 4 |
| S | Sen'Derrick Marks DT JAC | 4 |
| I | Brandon Mebane DT SEA | 0 |
| I | Tony McDaniel DT SEA | 0 |
| S | DeAndre Levy OLB DET | 10 |
| S | Paul Posluszny MLB JAC | 11 |
| S | LaMarr Woodley DE LV | 2 |
| S | Kroy Biermann OLB ATL | 8 |
| B | Keith Rivers MLB BUF | 4 |
| B | Shaun Phillips OLB IND | 2 |
| S | Lamarr Houston DE CHI | 0 |
| I | K.J. Wright MLB SEA | 0 |
| B | Jason Worilds OLB PIT | 2 |
| B | Josh Wilson CB ATL | 0 |
| S | Cortez Allen CB PIT | 14 |
| B | Xavier Rhodes CB MIN | 5 |
| S | Eric Weddle S LAC | 10 |
| B | Dawan Landry S NYJ | 6 |
| S | Josh Robinson CB MIN | 8 |
| B | Antoine Bethea S SF | 8 |
| S | Troy Polamalu S PIT | 6 |
| S | Brandon Fields P MIA | 3 |
| S | Miami DST MIA | 0 |
|
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press)
Alex Smith blathered, "Whoa... we got our backends handed to us today and that's for sure. Coach is steering us toward a high draft pick and a wasted season. I can only hope that he trades me to someone capable of winning before my career ends." Well no kidding, Einstein. PC was bad. Awful. Grotesque. An embarrassment to the league, I dare say. Yikes! PC has just completed a game in which they, proverbially speaking, whacked a fat little leper boy with a baseball bat. To point fingers after this debacle would be unfair given that this most assuredly was a team effort - and that's the only positive spin I can put on the game.
So now the series stands TSI leads the all-time series 13-3 against PC. TSI has a 2-2 regular season record. PC has a 1-3 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw TSI bludgeoning PC as though the unfortunate loser were a snail dropped in a jar of saline solution 43-17 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd.
Things went very well for the TSI squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 304 points, 193 on offense and 111 on defense. Matthew Stafford with 50 points on offense and Sam Martin with 19 points on defense were the top scorers. All that aside, Don't Euthanize After Disaster award - given to one blundering fool each week - was really difficult to decide on this go around. I promise the poor slob that I won't be taking away his livelihood. This week, the DEAD man of the game goes to Dan Orlovsky. I've come up with a
motivational plan for every player I deem to be failing to live up to their potential..."
Says Dan Orlovsky, pouring out of a far-too-tight yellow bikini, "I have nothing to say about this."
Jeremy Maclin added, "Words fail me... got it? I ain't had a single night's sleep since coach made that call last Monday, man. I keep waking up screaming. I mean dang, man... time to put some time on the thigh-master."
There's no love lost between these two clubs. Al Burns whined, "Oh, they're harmless... a bit annoying too, I guess... Kinda remind me of Barney or Big Bird..." In response, the PC coach said, "Let's see... something nice to say? Well, they're not the most repugnant team out there, but that's kinda like saying that Shockey isn't as annoying as that Owens clown." |
