Boxscore
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press) unsightly. That word does not even begin to describe the game I saw today. Despite the ambient weather, I found myself looking upon the cold, dark, windswept gridiron of my soul, agonizing for three gut-wrenching hours as my eyes were forced to witness the utter lack of skill exhibited by BB on this particular day. By the end of the opening kickoff, I could already feel the nausea, the lurching in my stomach. By the end of the first quarter, I began to contemplate gnawing off my own leg to escape. My tears flowed as freely as the cheap beer consumed by the semi-sentients surrounding me, not for the defeated, but for the death of all that I thought was good and pure about football. And so now it stands that SC trails the all-time series 10-11 against BB. SC has a 2-3 regular season record. BB has a 2-3 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw SC bludgeoning BB as though the unfortunate loser were a snail dropped in a jar of saline solution 48-12 in front of a despondent home crowd. Things went very well for the SC squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 324 points, 228 on offense and 96 on defense. Julius Thomas with 39 points on offense and Lavonte David with 18 points on defense were the top scorers. Mistakes dampened the mood around the locker room somewhat. Said Coach/GM Matthew R. Watson, "We had a few breakdowns. . For one, Eric Reid kinda languished a bit out there. Doc says that if he spent a little more time working off the flubber in his midsection than 'clubbing' and getting fat on the buck-a-bucket combo at the KFC, well, his medical list wouldn't read like a copy of 'War and Peace'. Back in my day, 'clubbing' was something untoward that you did to baby seals . As for those DST? They showed all the football grace of ballerinas as they filled the record book with 1 Punt returns defended, 2 Defended kickoff returns, 51 Defended kickoff return yardage, 25.5 Defended kickoff return average while taking the day off. Overall though, the Don't Euthanize After Disaster award - given to one blundering fool each week - was really difficult to decide on this go around. I promise the poor slob that I won't be taking away his livelihood. This week, the DEAD man in this game was Roberto Garza. His grotesque effort yielded a venom-filled snarl of anger from his position coach. "Dem's fightin' woids!": Fuel was added to the fire during the two teams' post game news conferences. Matthew R. Watson droned, "They stink, not in that 'festering sewage inside a porta-potty next to a dead, bloated cow floating in a culvert' way, but more in the 'the Vienna Boy's Choir has more football talent' way." In response, the BB coach noted, "That owner of theirs kinda reminds me of a Matt Millen and Michael Jackson hybrid... all bluster, melting face, questionable personal tastes... not exactly the kind of person I'd invite to my child's birthday party." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||