| Off | Def | Total | Score |
|---|
| Away | Memphis Hound Dogs | 207 | 106 | 313 | 49 | | Home | Demonic Hordes | 175 | 109 | 284 | 35 |
| Demonic Hordes |
Memphis Hound Dogs |
|---|
| S | David Fales QB CHI | 0 |
| I | Jimmy Garoppolo QB NE | 0 |
| I | Tom Brady QB NE | 0 |
| S | Jay Cutler QB CHI | 38 |
| S | Jimmy Clausen QB CHI | 0 |
| I | Corey Linsley OC GB | 0 |
| S | Russell Bodine OC CIN | 9 |
| I | Mike McGlynn OG KC | 0 |
| I | Chad Rinehart OG LAC | 0 |
| S | Brandon Brooks OG HOU | 12 |
| S | Zach Fulton OG KC | 8 |
| I | Seantrel Henderson OT BUF | 0 |
| S | Will Beatty OT NYG | 7 |
| S | Terron Armstead OT NO | 18 |
| S | Matt Asiata RB MIN | 3 |
| B | Alfred Morris RB WAS | 0 |
| B | Bishop Sankey RB TEN | 1 |
| S | Zac Stacy RB LAR | 9 |
| B | Knile Davis RB KC | 0 |
| I | Travaris Cadet RB NO | 0 |
| B | Donald Brown RB LAC | 1 |
| S | Keenan Allen WR LAC | 7 |
| B | Anquan Boldin WR SF | 3 |
| S | Antonio Brown WR PIT | 14 |
| B | Brian Quick WR LAR | 7 |
| B | Rueben Randle WR NYG | 4 |
| B | Allen Robinson WR JAC | 3 |
| B | Niles Paul TE WAS | 2 |
| B | Dwayne Allen TE IND | 7 |
| B | Jack Doyle TE IND | 3 |
| I | Brandon Bostick TE GB | 0 |
| S | Larry Donnell TE NYG | 7 |
| S | Mike Nugent K CIN | 8 |
| I | Dan Carpenter K BUF | 0 |
| S | Buffalo OST BUF | 0 |
| I | Olivier Vernon DE MIA | 0 |
| S | Corey Liuget DE LAC | 0 |
| S | Phillip Taylor NT CLE | 2 |
| I | Sean Weatherspoon OLB ??? | 0 |
| I | Jarvis Jones OLB PIT | 0 |
| B | Kyle Wilber OLB DAL | 1 |
| I | Brad Jones ILB GB | 0 |
| S | Cameron Jordan DE NO | 5 |
| S | Brian Cushing ILB HOU | 11 |
| B | Kavell Conner ILB LAC | 2 |
| S | Perry Riley ILB WAS | 9 |
| I | NaVorro Bowman MLB ??? | 0 |
| I | Kiko Alonso MLB ??? | 0 |
| I | Jelani Jenkins OLB MIA | 0 |
| S | Janoris Jenkins CB LAR | 3 |
| S | Antoine Cason CB BAL | 14 |
| I | Shareece Wright CB LAC | 0 |
| S | Jason McCourty CB TEN | 8 |
| B | Micah Hyde CB GB | 4 |
| B | J.J. Wilcox S DAL | 3 |
| I | Tyvon Branch S LV | 0 |
| I | Usama Young S LV | 0 |
| S | Quintin Demps S NYG | 9 |
| S | Barry Church S DAL | 6 |
| B | Darian Stewart S BAL | 4 |
| S | Robert Blanton S MIN | 8 |
| B | Da'Norris Searcy S BUF | 1 |
| S | Bryan Anger P JAC | 9 |
| I | Brett Kern P TEN | 0 |
| S | Cincinnati DST CIN | 10 |
|
| I | Matt McGloin QB LV | 0 |
| I | Derek Carr QB LV | 0 |
| I | Matt Schaub QB LV | 0 |
| S | Tarvaris Jackson QB SEA | 0 |
| S | Russell Wilson QB SEA | 55 |
| I | Joe Hawley OC ATL | 0 |
| S | Chris Myers OC HOU | 14 |
| I | Daryn Colledge OG MIA | 0 |
| I | Geoff Schwartz OG NYG | 0 |
| S | Patrick Omameh OG TB | 5 |
| S | Brian Winters OG NYJ | 3 |
| I | Peter Konz OC ATL | 0 |
| S | Kelvin Beachum OT PIT | 4 |
| I | Trent Williams OT WAS | 0 |
| S | Joe Thomas OT CLE | 11 |
| I | Mike James RB TB | 0 |
| B | Steven Jackson RB ATL | 5 |
| B | Robert Turbin RB SEA | 1 |
| S | Doug Martin RB TB | 13 |
| B | Bobby Rainey RB TB | 4 |
| S | Marshawn Lynch RB SEA | 24 |
| S | Roddy White WR ATL | 5 |
| B | Louis Murphy WR TB | 3 |
| S | Michael Crabtree WR SF | 3 |
| B | Andre Roberts WR WAS | 4 |
| B | Marvin Jones WR CIN | 0 |
| B | Doug Baldwin WR SEA | 3 |
| I | Cecil Shorts WR JAC | 0 |
| S | Rob Gronkowski TE NE | 40 |
| B | Jace Amaro TE NYJ | 3 |
| I | Ed Dickson TE CAR | 0 |
| S | Blair Walsh K MIN | 7 |
| I | Alex Henery K DET | 0 |
| S | Washington OST WAS | 0 |
| S | Michael Bennett DE SEA | 3 |
| B | Mario Williams DE BUF | 3 |
| S | Marcell Dareus DT BUF | 19 |
| B | Vince Wilfork DT NE | 1 |
| S | Aaron Donald DT LAR | 1 |
| B | William Gholston DE TB | 4 |
| I | Chad Greenway OLB MIN | 0 |
| B | Jameel McClain MLB NYG | 4 |
| S | Carlos Dunlap DE CIN | 6 |
| S | Von Miller OLB DEN | 9 |
| I | Mason Foster MLB TB | 0 |
| S | Alec Ogletree OLB LAR | 13 |
| S | Jerod Mayo MLB NE | 7 |
| B | Anthony Barr OLB MIN | 3 |
| S | Marcus Cooper CB KC | 2 |
| I | Brandon Boykin CB PHI | 0 |
| S | Byron Maxwell CB SEA | 5 |
| B | Keenan Lewis CB NO | 3 |
| B | Sergio Brown S IND | 4 |
| I | Trenton Robinson S WAS | 0 |
| S | Tashaun Gipson S CLE | 5 |
| S | Aaron Williams S BUF | 4 |
| B | Corey Graham CB BUF | 0 |
| B | Calvin Pryor S NYJ | 1 |
| S | Jon Ryan P SEA | 9 |
| I | Michael Koenen P TB | 0 |
| S | Buffalo DST BUF | 0 |
|
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press)
Tom Brady gurgled, "How about that offense, huh? Theirs, I mean, not ours. I pulled myself 'cause I didn't want to go in there and make anything worse.Yeah, this is going to be the nature of our team." Well no kidding, Einstein. DH was bad. Awful. Grotesque. An embarrassment to the league, I dare say. "You want fries with that?" Yep, we'll be hearing that from Jimmy Clausen in the near-future after this week's performance. After a time, I began to play a game, counting the seconds between mistakes, waiting with giddy excitement while seeing that head coach of theirs as enraged as an elementary school janitor fresh out of Vomit-be-Gone.
So now the series stands MHD trails the all-time series 4-15 against DH. MHD has a 3-2 regular season record. DH has a 2-3 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw MHD has demoralized DH as though the unfortunate loser were a snail dropped in a jar of saline solution 49-35 in front of a despondent home crowd.
They looked unstoppable on the MHD squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 313 points, 207 on offense and 106 on defense. Russell Wilson with 55 points on offense and Marcell Dareus with 19 points on defense were the top scorers. All that aside, Doc's been looking into a revolutionary new surgery - replace his hands with anything - stickum, chicken claws, even bricks would be an improvement. I mean, he drops balls as if they were live ferrets. of the game goes to Tarvaris Jackson. I've come up with a
motivational plan for every player I deem to be failing to live up to their potential..."
Says Tarvaris Jackson, sporting a nice lace evening gown, "Ya, coach says I played like a little girl so I might as well dress the part. I hafta practice in this thing. He calls me the fairy princess. Man, I'm callin my agent. This ain't parta the deal."
Chris Myers added, "Shoot... he should know he can't fit in no D-cup! I tell ya, he looked like some sort of demented, bloated
Valkyrie... Man...
brings new meaning to the phrase 'when the fat lady sings.'
"
There's no love lost between these two clubs. Chip Riggs droned, "Nah, I don't have anything against them. They're kinda like little bunnies or maybe pop warner rejects.... kinda cute and all, but pretty impotent when it comes to football." In response, the DH coach said, "They stink, not in that 'festering sewage inside a porta-potty next to a dead, bloated cow floating in a culvert' way, but more in the 'the Vienna Boy's Choir has more football talent' way." |
