| Off | Def | Total | Score |
|---|
| Away | Southside Salamanders | 231 | 139 | 370 | 48 | | Home | WHO DAT | 172 | 135 | 307 | 17 |
| WHO DAT |
Southside Salamanders |
|---|
| I | Matt Moore QB MIA | 0 |
| S | Tony Romo QB DAL | 39 |
| I | Pat Devlin QB ??? | 0 |
| I | Ryan Tannehill QB MIA | 0 |
| S | Brandon Weeden QB DAL | 0 |
| S | Travis Frederick OC DAL | 6 |
| I | Willie Colon OG NYJ | 0 |
| S | D.J. Fluker OT LAC | 3 |
| S | Chris Chester OG WAS | 5 |
| I | Evan Smith OC TB | 0 |
| S | Clint Boling OG CIN | 9 |
| I | Jermon Bushrod OT CHI | 0 |
| S | Demar Dotson OT TB | 4 |
| B | Fred Jackson RB BUF | 6 |
| S | Matt Forte RB CHI | 32 |
| I | Dexter McCluster RB TEN | 0 |
| S | Calvin Johnson WR DET | 2 |
| B | Vincent Jackson WR TB | 6 |
| I | Odell Beckham WR NYG | 0 |
| B | Ryan Davis DE JAC | 0 |
| S | Eddie Royal WR LAC | 8 |
| I | Brian Hartline WR MIA | 0 |
| B | Jerricho Cotchery WR CAR | 2 |
| I | Harry Douglas WR ATL | 0 |
| B | Scott Chandler TE BUF | 3 |
| S | Coby Fleener TE IND | 15 |
| I | Jim Dray TE CLE | 0 |
| I | Brent Celek TE PHI | 0 |
| S | Anthony Fasano TE KC | 11 |
| S | Nick Novak K LAC | 8 |
| I | Robbie Gould K CHI | 0 |
| S | Dallas OST DAL | 9 |
| S | Julius Peppers OLB GB | 16 |
| B | Cliff Avril DE SEA | 2 |
| B | Frank Kearse DL WAS | 4 |
| B | Dee Ford OLB KC | 0 |
| S | Sammie Lee Hill NT TEN | 3 |
| B | Corey Peters DE ATL | 1 |
| S | Fletcher Cox DE PHI | 5 |
| B | Manny Lawson OLB BUF | 0 |
| B | Connor Barwin OLB PHI | 6 |
| S | Willie Young DE CHI | 10 |
| B | Mychal Kendricks ILB PHI | 0 |
| B | David Hawthorne ILB NO | 3 |
| S | D'Qwell Jackson ILB IND | 5 |
| S | Danny Lansanah OLB TB | 24 |
| S | C.J. Mosley ILB BAL | 18 |
| B | Terence Newman CB CIN | 4 |
| B | Joe Haden CB CLE | 2 |
| S | Prince Amukamara CB NYG | 5 |
| S | Chris Culliver CB SF | 3 |
| I | Charles Woodson S LV | 0 |
| B | Mike Mitchell S PIT | 2 |
| B | Nate Allen S PHI | 3 |
| S | Kam Chancellor S SEA | 5 |
| S | Rashad Johnson S ARI | 7 |
| I | Sam Koch P BAL | 0 |
| S | Matt Bosher P ATL | 4 |
| S | New York (A) DST NYJ | 3 |
|
| S | Scott Tolzien QB GB | 0 |
| I | Ryan Nassib QB NYG | 0 |
| S | Matt Flynn QB GB | 2 |
| I | Eli Manning QB NYG | 0 |
| S | Aaron Rodgers QB GB | 34 |
| S | Scott Wells OC LAR | 9 |
| I | Ben Jones OC HOU | 0 |
| S | James Carpenter OG SEA | 10 |
| I | T.J. Lang OG GB | 0 |
| S | Josh Sitton OG GB | 12 |
| S | Riley Reiff OT DET | 4 |
| S | Duane Brown OT HOU | 14 |
| I | Donald Stephenson OT KC | 0 |
| B | Kyle Juszczyk FB BAL | 2 |
| S | Arian Foster RB HOU | 35 |
| B | Lance Dunbar RB DAL | 1 |
| B | Benny Cunningham RB LAR | 6 |
| B | Joique Bell RB DET | 0 |
| I | Danny Woodhead RB LAC | 0 |
| S | Jamaal Charles RB KC | 12 |
| B | Corey Brown WR CAR | 3 |
| B | Davante Adams WR GB | 3 |
| I | Marqise Lee WR JAC | 0 |
| S | Markus Wheaton WR PIT | 4 |
| I | Aaron Dobson WR NE | 0 |
| B | Robert Woods WR BUF | 3 |
| I | Rod Streater WR LV | 0 |
| S | Kendall Wright WR TEN | 30 |
| B | C.J. Fiedorowicz TE HOU | 4 |
| S | Jared Cook TE LAR | 21 |
| B | Daniel Fells TE NYG | 2 |
| I | Kyle Rudolph TE MIN | 0 |
| I | Brandon Williams TE CAR | 0 |
| B | Derek Carrier TE SF | 4 |
| S | Mason Crosby K GB | 9 |
| I | Cairo Santos K KC | 0 |
| S | San Francisco OST SF | 7 |
| S | Brian Robison DE MIN | 3 |
| S | Ryan Kerrigan OLB WAS | 10 |
| S | Mike Daniels DE GB | 14 |
| S | Steve McLendon NT PIT | 4 |
| I | B.J. Raji NT ??? | 0 |
| I | Koa Misi OLB MIA | 0 |
| B | Jacquian Williams OLB NYG | 8 |
| B | Jonathan Massaquoi OLB ATL | 3 |
| B | Sean Spence ILB PIT | 2 |
| B | Wesley Woodyard ILB TEN | 3 |
| S | Danny Trevathan OLB DEN | 12 |
| I | Ryan Shazier ILB PIT | 0 |
| S | Curtis Lofton ILB NO | 7 |
| S | A.J. Hawk ILB GB | 11 |
| B | Jason Verrett CB LAC | 3 |
| S | Sam Shields CB GB | 3 |
| B | Desmond Trufant CB ATL | 3 |
| I | Dwayne Gratz CB JAC | 0 |
| S | Kyle Fuller CB CHI | 7 |
| S | Mike Adams S IND | 7 |
| B | Ha Ha Clinton-Dix S GB | 5 |
| I | Delano Howell S ??? | 0 |
| I | Eric Berry S KC | 0 |
| I | Reshad Jones S MIA | 0 |
| S | George Iloka S CIN | 10 |
| S | Johnny Hekker P LAR | 16 |
| I | Tim Masthay P GB | 0 |
| S | Baltimore DST BAL | 8 |
|
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press)
OK, so not everyone who wears the uniform should be allowed to suit up. Such is most certainly the case for Manny Lawson, the greatest goat this side of the fairytale land of satyrs, unicorns, pixies, and winning LLL seasons. This journalist found himself maintaining sanity amidst the botched stumbling of Tony Romo and his sidekicks by drinking heavily and choking down moldy peanuts. Now, to LLL's credit, they willingly subjected themselves to this game, knowing full well how it was likely to turn out, but I place a great deal of blame on SRS for opting for this game over a likely more challenging foray against the Vienna Boy's Choir.
And so now it stands that SRS leads the all-time series 17-2 against LLL. SRS has a 5-0 regular season record. LLL has a 3-2 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw SRS has demoralized LLL as though they were naught but a group of frenchmen on the battlefield 48-17 in front of a despondent home crowd.
Things went very well for the SRS squad on both sides of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 370 points, 231 on offense and 139 on defense. Arian Foster with 35 points on offense and Tim Masthay with 20 points on defense were the top scorers. Several mental breakdowns drew the coach's ire. Said Coach/GM Allen Cummings, "I took exception to our execution on a few plays.. For one, Marqise Lee kinda languished a bit out there. I've been working with Doc on a revolutionary new procedure... I won't go into the full details right now, but let's just say that he won't have an any excuse for dropping the damned ball anymore. As for those NT? They showed their ineptitude by amassing 1 Tackles, 1 Stuff, 2 QB Hits over the course of the contest. Overall though, the the most incompetant player in this game was Eric Berry. His hideous effort yielded as many positives as a hydrogen ion.
There's no love lost between these two clubs. Allen Cummings droned, "Well, there's murderers, rapists, boy bands, and then there's that owner of theirs... Which is worst? Hard to tell sometimes." In response, the LLL coach waxed poetic, stating, "I'm not saying that this is true, mind you, but I'm not saying it isn't. I heard tell that that owner of theirs has been kidnapping small children and selling them on the Chinese black market. Do I respect him? Does anyone?" |
