Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) When I was a young lad, I once blew up my neighbor's yard gnomes. My father, as unhappy as a politician running for re-election while in the midst of another scandal, told me to retrieve a bag of cement. He then hauled me into a cave and placated the natives with my pain. To this day, I still wet my pants whenever I think of that memory. I bring this up because the similarities between what happened to me then and what happened to OA today are the same. BB has staggered OA like a bloated spider engorging on the tender underbelly of a common house fly, topping them by the tune of 27-21 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. BB trails the all-time series 1-2 against OA. BB has a 3-4 regular season record. OA has a 3-4 regular season record. Matt Ryan quipped, "How about that offense, huh? Theirs, I mean, not ours. I pulled myself 'cause I didn't want to go in there and make anything worse.Yeah, this is going to be the nature of our team." Brian Hoyer gurgled, 'There's really no way that you can shut them down.We had to resort to some... dubious tactics to stay in the game at all. You don't want to see anyone get hurt seriously, but this defense of ours is different. We're coming to hit, we're coming to hurt. When we get the chance to deliver the punch, we are going to try to knock people out... now if only our opponents occasionally noticed, eh?" They were almost perfect on the BB squad even though they did not excel on either side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 284 points, 173 on offense and 111 on defense. Austin Davis with 36 points on offense and Derrick Morgan with 16 points on defense were the top scorers. Mistakes dampened the mood around the locker room somewhat. Said Coach/GM Aaron Cook, "Sure, I'm a bit concerned about a few things.. For one, Shayne Graham was clearly showing some ill-effects from his intestinal parasite. Medically speaking, his body should be donated to science, there's so much wrong with him. At least, that's gotta be the case given the number of plays he likes to take off . As for those DST? They showed all the football grace of ballerinas as they filled the record book with 2 Punt returns defended, 20 Defended punt return yardage, 10 Defended punt return average, 2 Defended kickoff returns, 43 Defended kickoff return yardage, 21.5 Defended kickoff return average over the course of the contest. Overall though, the the most incompetant player in this game was Shaun Hill. His hideous effort yielded precious little to praise. In the end, these men are kinda like my kids. As any parent knows, from time to time, you just can't always get through to them without getting creative..." Says Shaun Hill, dragging around a cart full of dirty laundry, "Coach says he'll find a use for me in this system if it kills us both. Yo, just gimme a little slack, man. But this, goin' from starter not even to the bench... I'm bein' disrespected!" Davin Joseph added, "I ain't sayin' nothin'... OK, maybe just a little. Dude's even worse here than on the field. Starching everyone's straps? Using so much bleach it dissolves the danged cotton? I'm almost at the point where I want to go into Coach's doghouse just so I can get some properly handled laundry!" There's no love lost between these two clubs. Aaron Cook shot, "Let's see... something nice to say? Well, they're not the most repugnant team out there, but that's kinda like saying that Shockey isn't as annoying as that Owens clown." In response, the OA coach grumbled, "Oh, they're harmless... a bit annoying too, I guess... Kinda remind me of Barney or Big Bird..." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||