Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) I get paid very well doing something I usually enjoy. There are, however, occasional games that I only report on under silent protest. Let me begin by being brutally honest. LLL is quite the incapable team, wholly outclassed in all aspects of the game by AW. If Ryan Tannehill's body of work exemplifies the high-point of your weekend, you know that you're on the losing end of a sordid, sick joke of a game. Words utterly fail to describe this romp into the realms of ineptitude. When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope. Standing here in the garish, filth-ridden stands of this now-empty stadium after the game, I got to thinking - such is truly the fate of both fans of the LLL squad. In the end, this team is just hopeless. Ryan Tannehill groaned, "To say that we stunk would be unfair to skunks and unwashed monks, man. We were awful today! Do you see us getting any better in time for the next game, 'cause I sure don't. The guys played with no fire, the coaching was flat, and the playcalling was atrocious. Our execution? Yeah, I'm for it." Dexter McCluster quipped, "Oh fo real, man. Ya see, I is da real thing. Dose drops, man. Dat weren't my fault, dawg. Th playa wuz trowing too hard and I run the wrong play jus so's he can't find me. No sense me breakin' my assets, man... No sense me making it on 'Jacked Up' or nothin'. No matter... I be back, bro. Expect numba ME to grab up 60 scores this season, yo. Dem otha's, man? I gonna steal the show. They's amateurs spelt wit a capital E." AW pulverizing LLL as though they were naught but a group of frenchmen on the battlefield, emasculating them by the tune of 57-39 in front of a despondent home crowd. AW leads the all-time series 3-1 against LLL. AW has a 6-1 regular season record. LLL has a 4-3 regular season record. They were almost perfect on the AW squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 316 points, 218 on offense and 98 on defense. Drew Brees with 42 points on offense and Andy Lee with 22 points on defense were the top scorers. Mistakes dampened the mood around the locker room somewhat. Said Coach/GM Tim Shoemaker, "We had a few breakdowns. . For one, Joe Flacco was as sharp as a sponge today. That procedure he had a couple weeks back... labotomy, I think Doc said - well, that thing has done wonders for his game. He just stands in there and takes it now - play after play after play. No more of this whining about being too hurt. Doc is brilliant, I say. As for those DST? They showed their ineptitude by amassing 3 Punt returns defended, 47 Defended punt return yardage, 15.667 Defended punt return average, 5 Defended kickoff returns, 92 Defended kickoff return yardage, 18.4 Defended kickoff return average instead of playing. Overall though, the the most incompetant player in this game was Andrew Whitworth. Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Tim Shoemaker quipped, "Thinking about them forces me to draw parallels between them and the Bulgarians." He was quick to add, "Erm, the Byzantine Empire had to deal with those clods... made themselves quite a nuisance 'til Basil crushed 'em and cut their eyes out - well, he left a couple of 'em with one eye so's they could guide the others home. I can't help but think that motivations such as that would help their cause." In response, the LLL coach said, "Sheesh... just mentioning their scaly hides makes me feel very unclean. They're wretched, infantile little sewer rats and I don't want to get dragged into a discussion about them. Any other questions? I need to bathe." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||