Boxscore
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press) Ben Roethlisberger groaned, "We had a chance at the beginning, man. We hung in there through the opening kickoff. We fought, but after that, we just didn't get her done. It's a bit disappointing, to be sure." Well no kidding, Einstein. SC was bad. Awful. Grotesque. An embarrassment to the league, I dare say. If Ben Roethlisberger's body of work exemplifies the high-point of your weekend, you know that you're on the losing end of a sordid, sick joke of a game. Words utterly fail to describe this romp into the realms of ineptitude. When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope. Standing here in the garish, filth-ridden stands of this now-empty stadium after the game, I got to thinking - such is truly the fate of both fans of the SC squad. In the end, this team is just hopeless. So now the series stands TB is all knotted up in the all-time series 2-2 against SC. TB has a 2-5 regular season record. SC has a 2-5 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw TB has repelled SC as though they were an all you can eat buffet residing next to a weight-watcher's clinic 65-31 in front of a despondent home crowd. They looked unstoppable on the TB squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 308 points, 192 on offense and 116 on defense. Peyton Manning with 56 points on offense and Whitney Mercilus with 19 points on defense were the top scorers. All that aside, the most incompetant player of the game goes to Khiry Robinson. Some players need a bit more instruction than others. I've tried a few less orthodox teaching tools from time to time..." Says Khiry Robinson, dragging around a cart full of dirty laundry, "Coach says he'll find a use for me in this system if it kills us both. Yo, just gimme a little slack, man. But this, goin' from starter not even to the bench... I'm bein' disrespected!" Jacob Tamme added, "I ain't sayin' nothin'... OK, maybe just a little. Dude's even worse here than on the field. Starching everyone's straps? Using so much bleach it dissolves the danged cotton? I'm almost at the point where I want to go into Coach's doghouse just so I can get some properly handled laundry!" "Dem's fightin' woids!": Fuel was added to the fire during the two teams' post game news conferences. Tim Marshall quipped, "Thinking about them forces me to draw parallels between them and the Bulgarians." He was quick to add, "Erm, the Byzantine Empire had to deal with those clods... made themselves quite a nuisance 'til Basil crushed 'em and cut their eyes out - well, he left a couple of 'em with one eye so's they could guide the others home. I can't help but think that motivations such as that would help their cause." In response, the SC coach whined, "I feel kinda sorry for them, to be honest. I mean, how can you be that inept, that pitiable? I guess they occasionally get my blood flowing, but for the most part, playing them is about as exciting as rearranging my sock drawer." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||