Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) I get paid very well doing something I usually enjoy. There are, however, occasional games that I only report on under silent protest. Let me begin by being brutally honest. RNR is quite the repugnant team, wholly outclassed in all aspects of the game by TB. I love football. The stale smell of rancid beer, the sweaty crowd of rabid fans, the cross-eyed and homely cheerleaders trying to incite us to collective ear-drum rupturing noise, the reverberating sound of vicious collisions, the poetic beauty of a laser-guided bullet pass crashing into the receiver's outstretched hands - yes, this is what I live for. This is what I saw today. Kudos to TB for pulling out our last jar of dried beef, overcoming their foes and definitively putting on the superior show, but overall, it was quite a frenetic, enjoyable game. Andy Dalton blathered, "Whoa... we got our backends handed to us today and that's for sure. Coach is steering us toward a high draft pick and a wasted season. I can only hope that he trades me to someone capable of winning before my career ends." DeMarcus Ware blathered, "I still can't believe that I've got this awesome gig, man. I mean, here I am, a player without talent earning millions of dollars to lose a game and look like a geriatric clown trying to do a birthday party for four-year-olds. You ain't gonna write this and get me in trouble, are you?" TB has senselessly deluged RNR like a mink that suddenly finds that a family of mice has taken up residence in her den, overcoming their foes by the tune of 55-29 in front of a despondent home crowd. TB trails the all-time series 10-11 against RNR. TB has a 3-5 regular season record. RNR has a 2-6 regular season record. They looked unstoppable on the TB squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 308 points, 208 on offense and 100 on defense. Peyton Manning with 47 points on offense and Paul Kruger with 21 points on defense were the top scorers. Mistakes dampened the mood around the locker room somewhat. Said Coach/GM Tim Marshall, "There were some mental breakdowns on both sides of the ball.. For one, Nick Fairley was clearly showing some ill-effects from his intestinal parasite. His bones are made of flubber, so I don't think that's the problem. At least I wouldn't call that a break per se. Still, he's too much of a little baby to play with that little bruise. Broken vertabrae? I doubt that very much. It's clear who is here just to collect a check and frankly, I won't forget it. As for those OST? They showed their ineptitude by amassing absolutely nothing instead of playing. Overall though, the Doc's been looking into a revolutionary new surgery - replace his hands with anything - stickum, chicken claws, even bricks would be an improvement. I mean, he drops balls as if they were live ferrets. in this game was Geno Smith. "Dem's fightin' woids!": Fuel was added to the fire during the two teams' post game news conferences. Tim Marshall considered this when he said, "Nah, I don't have anything against them. They're kinda like little bunnies or maybe pop warner rejects.... kinda cute and all, but pretty impotent when it comes to football." In response, the RNR coach blathered, "I feel kinda sorry for them, to be honest. I mean, how can you be that inept, that pitiable? I guess they occasionally get my blood flowing, but for the most part, playing them is about as exciting as rearranging my sock drawer." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||