| Off | Def | Total | Score |
|---|
| Away | Rock N Rollers | 164 | 93 | 257 | 37 | | Home | Westside Smoke | 159 | 90 | 249 | 33 |
| Westside Smoke |
Rock N Rollers |
|---|
| S | Matt Hasselbeck QB IND | 0 |
| I | Josh McCown QB TB | 0 |
| I | Mike Kafka QB TB | 0 |
| S | Andrew Luck QB IND | 43 |
| I | Mike Glennon QB TB | 0 |
| I | Dominic Raiola OC DET | 0 |
| S | Jonotthan Harrison OC IND | 10 |
| S | Charlie Johnson OG MIN | 8 |
| I | Zane Beadles OG JAC | 0 |
| S | Shawn Lauvao OG WAS | 4 |
| S | Russell Okung OT SEA | 0 |
| S | Anthony Castonzo OT IND | 9 |
| I | Ja'Wuan James OT MIA | 0 |
| B | Pierre Thomas RB NO | 0 |
| I | Ryan Mathews RB LAC | 0 |
| S | Branden Oliver RB LAC | 5 |
| B | Donald Brown RB LAC | 1 |
| I | Devin Hester WR ATL | 0 |
| B | DeSean Jackson WR WAS | 6 |
| S | Steve Smith WR BAL | 10 |
| B | Steve Johnson WR SF | 2 |
| S | Reggie Wayne WR IND | 18 |
| S | Demaryius Thomas WR DEN | 23 |
| S | Benjamin Watson TE NO | 8 |
| I | Dion Sims TE MIA | 0 |
| B | James Hanna TE DAL | 1 |
| I | Delanie Walker TE TEN | 0 |
| S | Chandler Catanzaro K ARI | 6 |
| S | New York (N) OST NYG | 1 |
| I | Oakland OST LV | 0 |
| I | Adrian Clayborn DE TB | 0 |
| B | Jared Crick DE HOU | 3 |
| S | Justin Tuck DE LV | 4 |
| S | Wallace Gilberry DE CIN | 6 |
| S | Damon Harrison NT NYJ | 5 |
| I | Jared Allen DE CHI | 0 |
| I | Clay Matthews OLB GB | 0 |
| I | Robert Mathis OLB ??? | 0 |
| B | Jo-Lonn Dunbar OLB LAR | 2 |
| S | Thomas Davis OLB CAR | 7 |
| S | Brandon Graham OLB PHI | 5 |
| B | Joe Mays ILB KC | 0 |
| S | Donald Butler ILB LAC | 9 |
| S | Jerrell Freeman ILB IND | 5 |
| I | Joplo Bartu ILB ATL | 0 |
| B | Michael Wilhoite ILB SF | 4 |
| I | Dannell Ellerbe OLB MIA | 0 |
| S | E.J. Gaines DB LAR | 6 |
| B | Carlos Rogers CB LV | 0 |
| B | Cary Williams CB PHI | 1 |
| B | Bradley Fletcher CB PHI | 3 |
| S | Greg Toler CB IND | 7 |
| B | LaRon Landry S IND | 0 |
| B | Rodney McLeod S LAR | 3 |
| S | Jimmy Wilson S MIA | 1 |
| B | Antonio Allen S NYJ | 4 |
| B | Tony Jefferson S ARI | 1 |
| B | Ryan Clark S WAS | 4 |
| S | Corey White CB NO | 9 |
| S | Pat McAfee P IND | 7 |
| I | Drew Butler P ARI | 0 |
| S | Pittsburgh DST PIT | -6 |
|
| S | Jason Campbell QB CIN | 0 |
| S | AJ McCarron QB CIN | 0 |
| I | Christian Ponder QB MIN | 0 |
| I | Matt Cassel QB MIN | 0 |
| S | Andy Dalton QB CIN | 23 |
| I | Teddy Bridgewater QB MIN | 0 |
| I | John Sullivan OC MIN | 0 |
| S | Daniel Kilgore OC SF | 0 |
| I | Jon Asamoah OG ATL | 0 |
| S | Marshal Yanda OG BAL | 2 |
| I | Justin Pugh OT NYG | 0 |
| I | Kyle Long OG CHI | 0 |
| S | Paul Fanaika OG ARI | 6 |
| S | Lane Johnson OT PHI | 10 |
| S | Branden Albert OT MIA | 8 |
| I | Antone Smith RB ATL | 0 |
| B | Chris Johnson RB NYJ | 4 |
| I | Devonta Freeman RB ATL | 0 |
| B | Storm Johnson RB JAC | 0 |
| S | Jonas Gray RB NE | 4 |
| B | Jeremy Kerley WR NYJ | 1 |
| B | Torrey Smith WR BAL | 4 |
| B | Marques Colston WR NO | 2 |
| S | Julian Edelman WR NE | 28 |
| S | Cecil Shorts WR JAC | 10 |
| S | Mike Evans WR TB | 34 |
| B | Rhett Ellison TE MIN | 4 |
| B | Timothy Wright TE NE | 0 |
| B | Michael Hoomanawanui TE NE | 2 |
| S | Lance Kendricks TE LAR | 7 |
| B | Tyler Eifert TE CIN | 0 |
| S | Randy Bullock K HOU | 5 |
| I | Graham Gano K CAR | 0 |
| S | New York (A) OST NYJ | 10 |
| B | Jason Hatcher DE WAS | 3 |
| S | Michael Johnson DE TB | 1 |
| B | Andre Branch DE JAC | 0 |
| I | Kyle Williams DT BUF | 0 |
| B | Henry Melton DT DAL | 4 |
| S | Dwan Edwards DT CAR | 11 |
| S | Casey Walker DT BAL | 0 |
| S | DeMarcus Ware DE DEN | 8 |
| S | Tamba Hali OLB KC | 5 |
| S | Chad Greenway OLB MIN | 10 |
| B | Telvin Smith OLB JAC | 4 |
| B | LaRoy Reynolds MLB JAC | 2 |
| S | James Laurinaitis MLB LAR | 13 |
| B | Malcolm Smith OLB SEA | 0 |
| B | Philip Wheeler OLB MIA | 1 |
| S | Buster Skrine CB CLE | 9 |
| I | Tramon Williams CB GB | 0 |
| S | Brandon Carr CB DAL | 4 |
| B | Richard Sherman CB SEA | 7 |
| S | Marcus Gilchrist S LAC | 4 |
| I | Da'Norris Searcy S BUF | 0 |
| S | Jimmie Ward S SF | 2 |
| I | Bernard Pollard S TEN | 0 |
| I | James Ihedigbo S DET | 0 |
| S | Chris Jones P DAL | 5 |
| I | Steve Weatherford P NYG | 0 |
| S | Houston DST HOU | 0 |
|
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press)
"You want fries with that?" Yep, we'll be hearing that from Matt Hasselbeck in the near-future after this week's performance. After a time, I began to play a game, counting the seconds between mistakes, waiting with giddy excitement while seeing that head coach of theirs as angered as an environmentalist stuck in a room full of Bolivian slash-n-burn agriculturalists.
And so now it stands that RNR trails the all-time series 9-12 against TH. RNR has a 3-6 regular season record. TH has a 4-5 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw RNR bludgeoning TH as though they were naught but a group of frenchmen on the battlefield 37-33 in front of a despondent home crowd.
They looked unstoppable on the RNR squad even though they did not excel on either side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 257 points, 164 on offense and 93 on defense. Teddy Bridgewater with 36 points on offense and James Laurinaitis with 13 points on defense were the top scorers. Mistakes dampened the mood around the locker room somewhat. Said Coach/GM Randy, "We have to get a lot better next week.. For one, Branden Albert was as sharp as a sponge today. Stimulus. Response. That's all there is to it. Pavlov had a dog and I've got this idiot. I've noticed that the red tazer in particular gets him ready for the games. As for those DST? They were utterly incompetent, gaining 2 Punt returns defended, 27 Defended punt return yardage, 13.5 Defended punt return average, 2 Defended kickoff returns, 41 Defended kickoff return yardage, 20.5 Defended kickoff return average while taking the day off. Overall though, the Doc's been looking into a revolutionary new surgery - replace his hands with anything - stickum, chicken claws, even bricks would be an improvement. I mean, he drops balls as if they were live ferrets. in this game was Jason Campbell. His horrible effort yielded nothing but the scorn of his teammates.
Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Randy exclaimed, "Nah, I don't have anything against them. They're kinda like little bunnies or maybe pop warner rejects.... kinda cute and all, but pretty impotent when it comes to football." In response, the TH coach exclaimed, "Sheesh... just mentioning their scaly hides makes me feel very unclean. They're wretched, infantile little sewer rats and I don't want to get dragged into a discussion about them. Any other questions? I need to bathe." |
