Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) When I was a young lad, I once set fire to my neighbor's gaudy yard art. My father, as apoplectic as a TV evangelist being audited by the IRS, told me to retrieve a pickle. He then thrust me next to the firing range and taught me the meaning of life. At night, I still occasionally wake up screaming. I bring this up because the similarities between what happened to me then and what happened to TB today are the same. PC pulverizing TB as though they were palace eunuchs in a wrestling match, maiming their egos by the tune of 30-28 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. PC trails the all-time series 4-14 against TB. PC has a 6-3 regular season record. TB has a 3-6 regular season record. Peyton Manning noted, "The win, see... dat's da importan' thing, peace, bro." When confronted with the reality that they had, in fact, lost, he blushed and added, "Yo man I ain't stupid or nothin'. I ain't talkin' 'bout no darned game... I mean them individual plays. That 3rd and 18 we had in the third quarter? You man, we gained six - count 'em, six yards on that play! That was an awesome end-around, man!" Chad Rinehart waxed poetic, stating, "I still can't believe that I've got this awesome gig, man. I mean, here I am, a player without talent earning millions of dollars to lose a game and look like a geriatric clown trying to do a birthday party for four-year-olds. You ain't gonna write this and get me in trouble, are you?" They were almost perfect on the PC squad even though they did not excel on either side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 258 points, 142 on offense and 116 on defense. Matt Asiata with 32 points on offense and K.J. Wright with 16 points on defense were the top scorers. Things were not all roses, however. Said Coach/GM Glenn Good, "I took exception to our execution on a few plays.. For one, Ahmad Bradshaw performed like a spasmodic violinist. That procedure he had a couple weeks back... labotomy, I think Doc said - well, that thing has done wonders for his game. He just stands in there and takes it now - play after play after play. No more of this whining about being too hurt. Doc is brilliant, I say. As for those DST? They showed their ineptitude by amassing 1 Defended kickoff returns, 28 Defended kickoff return yardage, 28 Defended kickoff return average throughout the course of their pitiful performance. Overall though, the team goat in this game was Jonathan Goodwin. His grotesque effort yielded a venom-filled snarl of anger from his position coach. In the end, these men are kinda like my kids. As any parent knows, from time to time, you just can't always get through to them without getting creative..." Says Jonathan Goodwin, dragging around a cart full of dirty laundry, "Coach says he'll find a use for me in this system if it kills us both. Yo, just gimme a little slack, man. But this, goin' from starter not even to the bench... I'm bein' disrespected!" Cortez Allen added, "I ain't sayin' nothin'... OK, maybe just a little. Dude's even worse here than on the field. Starching everyone's straps? Using so much bleach it dissolves the danged cotton? I'm almost at the point where I want to go into Coach's doghouse just so I can get some properly handled laundry!" There's no love lost between these two clubs. Glenn Good exclaimed, "I feel kinda sorry for them, to be honest. I mean, how can you be that inept, that pitiable? I guess they occasionally get my blood flowing, but for the most part, playing them is about as exciting as rearranging my sock drawer." In response, the TB coach exclaimed, "Nah, I don't have anything against them. They're kinda like little bunnies or maybe pop warner rejects.... kinda cute and all, but pretty impotent when it comes to football." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||