| Off | Def | Total | Score |
|---|
| Away | Oakland Assassins | 164 | 122 | 286 | 38 | | Home | Resistance is Futile | 199 | 89 | 288 | 39 |
| Resistance is Futile |
Oakland Assassins |
|---|
| S | Chase Daniel QB KC | 0 |
| S | Alex Smith QB KC | 35 |
| I | Jeff Tuel QB ??? | 0 |
| S | Tyler Bray QB ??? | 0 |
| I | EJ Manuel QB BUF | 0 |
| I | Kyle Orton QB BUF | 0 |
| I | Eric Wood OC BUF | 0 |
| S | Ryan Kalil OC CAR | 4 |
| S | Zack Martin OG DAL | 6 |
| I | Larry Warford OG DET | 0 |
| S | Mike Iupati OG SF | 1 |
| I | Jake Matthews OT ATL | 0 |
| I | David Bakhtiari OT GB | 0 |
| S | Gosder Cherilus OT IND | 11 |
| S | Will Beatty OT NYG | 8 |
| B | LeGarrette Blount RB NE | 1 |
| B | Toby Gerhart RB JAC | 3 |
| B | Justin Forsett RB BAL | 5 |
| S | Darren Sproles RB PHI | 12 |
| I | Jacquizz Rodgers RB ATL | 0 |
| B | Carlos Hyde RB SF | 1 |
| B | Bernard Pierce RB BAL | 0 |
| S | DeAndre Hopkins WR HOU | 27 |
| I | Sammy Watkins WR BUF | 0 |
| S | Mohamed Sanu WR CIN | 28 |
| S | Michael Floyd WR ARI | 9 |
| I | Brandon Marshall WR CHI | 0 |
| B | Mike Wallace WR MIA | 2 |
| B | Malcom Floyd WR LAC | 3 |
| B | Donnie Avery WR KC | 0 |
| B | Jermaine Gresham TE CIN | 6 |
| B | Rob Housler TE ARI | 2 |
| S | Zach Ertz TE PHI | 13 |
| I | Shaun Suisham K PIT | 0 |
| S | Stephen Gostkowski K NE | 18 |
| I | Green Bay OST GB | 0 |
| B | Quinton Coples OLB NYJ | 1 |
| B | Cornelius Carradine DL SF | 0 |
| S | Muhammad Wilkerson DE NYJ | 6 |
| I | Datone Jones DE GB | 0 |
| S | Dontari Poe NT KC | 6 |
| S | Cameron Wake DE MIA | 7 |
| S | Dont'a Hightower OLB NE | 6 |
| I | Jamari Lattimore ILB GB | 0 |
| B | Devon Kennard OLB NYG | 3 |
| B | Bruce Irvin OLB SEA | 9 |
| S | Patrick Willis ILB SF | 0 |
| S | Bruce Carter OLB DAL | 3 |
| S | Lawrence Timmons ILB PIT | 15 |
| B | Craig Robertson ILB CLE | 2 |
| I | Manti Te'o ILB LAC | 0 |
| S | William Gay CB PIT | 5 |
| S | Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie CB NYG | 1 |
| I | Darius Slay CB DET | 0 |
| I | Trumaine Johnson CB LAR | 0 |
| B | Darqueze Dennard CB CIN | 0 |
| S | Matt Elam S BAL | 7 |
| I | William Moore S ATL | 0 |
| S | Donte Whitner S CLE | 8 |
| B | Thomas DeCoud S CAR | 0 |
| I | Dustin Colquitt P KC | 0 |
| S | Shane Lechler P HOU | 10 |
| I | Atlanta DST ATL | 0 |
|
| S | Johnny Manziel QB CLE | 0 |
| S | Alex Tanney QB ??? | 0 |
| I | Matt Ryan QB ATL | 0 |
| S | Brian Hoyer QB CLE | 24 |
| I | T.J. Yates QB ATL | 0 |
| I | Sean Renfree QB ATL | 0 |
| S | Max Unger OC SEA | 0 |
| S | Luke Bowanko OL JAC | 8 |
| I | Kory Lichtensteiger OC WAS | 0 |
| I | Justin Blalock OG ATL | 0 |
| S | Dan Connolly OG NE | 7 |
| I | Matt Slauson OG CHI | 0 |
| I | Jermon Bushrod OT CHI | 0 |
| S | King Dunlap OT LAC | 0 |
| S | Jason Peters OT PHI | 9 |
| S | LeSean McCoy RB PHI | 19 |
| B | Christine Michael RB SEA | 1 |
| I | Stevan Ridley RB NE | 0 |
| I | James Starks RB GB | 0 |
| B | Jonathan Stewart RB CAR | 1 |
| B | Darren McFadden RB LV | 3 |
| B | Kenny Britt WR LAR | 2 |
| B | James Jones WR LV | 2 |
| S | Dez Bryant WR DAL | 10 |
| S | Jordan Reed TE WAS | 9 |
| I | Eric Ebron TE DET | 0 |
| B | Crockett Gillmore TE BAL | 3 |
| B | Mychal Rivera TE LV | 7 |
| I | Dennis Pitta TE BAL | 0 |
| I | Jordan Cameron TE CLE | 0 |
| B | Vance McDonald TE SF | 1 |
| S | Travis Kelce TE KC | 22 |
| S | Luke Willson TE SEA | 12 |
| S | Phil Dawson K SF | 4 |
| I | Ryan Succop K TEN | 0 |
| S | Kansas City OST KC | 20 |
| I | Atlanta OST ATL | 0 |
| B | Dion Jordan DE MIA | 1 |
| S | Everson Griffen DE MIN | 14 |
| I | Jurrell Casey NT TEN | 0 |
| I | Aldon Smith OLB SF | 0 |
| B | Rob Ninkovich DE NE | 5 |
| B | Terrell Suggs OLB BAL | 2 |
| I | Kemal Ishmael S ATL | 0 |
| I | Nigel Bradham OLB BUF | 0 |
| B | James-Michael Johnson ILB KC | 1 |
| S | Miles Burris OLB LV | 9 |
| S | Keenan Robinson ILB WAS | 10 |
| B | Bjoern Werner OLB IND | 3 |
| S | Jason Pierre-Paul DE NYG | 4 |
| S | Karlos Dansby ILB CLE | 5 |
| S | Sio Moore OLB LV | 13 |
| B | DeMeco Ryans ILB PHI | 4 |
| I | Tahir Whitehead OLB DET | 0 |
| I | Zach Brown ILB TEN | 0 |
| S | Brent Grimes CB MIA | 16 |
| B | Johnthan Banks CB TB | 4 |
| S | David Amerson CB WAS | 5 |
| B | Roman Harper S CAR | 3 |
| B | D.J. Swearinger S HOU | 4 |
| S | Kenny Vaccaro S NO | 3 |
| S | Johnathan Cyprien S JAC | 8 |
| S | Tress Way P WAS | 8 |
| S | Kansas City DST KC | 0 |
|
| Game Summary (Larry Smith, NetFL Press)
The football gods smiled down upon the KIR franchise this weekend. A wounded team was provided the perfect elixir, OA, at an opportune time.
Because, if it had been anyone else but the offensively challenged OA, every KIR player would be changing their ring tones to Taps this morning. Luckily, KIR ran into an opponent with much less margin for error than themselves, or they'd no doubt be nursing the losing column with yet another embarrassing loss.
One big reason that KIR can exhale today is that OA was talent-deficient enough to lose control of a game they had a chance to win. They looked so blundering as they pushed a splitting maul during the game and electrocuted the dog with a toaster - metaphorically speaking.
The score of 39-38 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd for KIR was aided by a ferocious defense, but even larger was the help provided by a reeling opponent that constantly pushed the wrong personnel buttons. No wonder the blundering OA have been such a welcome sight in opposing stadiums for so long. KIR sure caught them on the right day.
It's doubtful that the KIR defenders could have corralled a grandmother strolling across the field with the same ease as they did the OA quarterback. "Instead of him looking down the field, he was looking to see who was coming," said Bruce Irvin with 17 points on defense, a huge smile on his face. "Let's just say he got rattled a little bit."
Still, KIR might not have escaped without a goto player to energize the offense - OA's very own King Dunlap. He was relentlessly victimized, continuously torched play after play before the OA coaching staff mercifully pulled him, as he was clearly showing some ill-effects from his intestinal parasite.
"Picking on King Dunlap was a part of the game plan," Alex Smith with 35 points on offense said. "We should have been doing it more in the first half of the game."
How true. When a NetFL team needs a pick-me-up, they can usually count on OA to deliver. KIR trails the all-time series 3-5 against OA. KIR has a 4-5 regular season record. OA has a 3-6 regular season record.
"Dem's fightin' woids!": Fuel was added to the fire during the two teams' post game news conferences. Kevin Snyder gurgled, "Nah, I don't have anything against them. They're kinda like little bunnies or maybe pop warner rejects.... kinda cute and all, but pretty impotent when it comes to football." In response, the OA coach groaned, "I feel kinda sorry for them, to be honest. I mean, how can you be that inept, that pitiable? I guess they occasionally get my blood flowing, but for the most part, playing them is about as exciting as rearranging my sock drawer." |
