Boxscore
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press) Josh McCown whined, "To say that we stunk would be unfair to skunks and unwashed monks, man. We were awful today! Do you see us getting any better in time for the next game, 'cause I sure don't. The guys played with no fire, the coaching was flat, and the playcalling was atrocious. Our execution? Yeah, I'm for it." Well no kidding, Einstein. TH was bad. Awful. Grotesque. An embarrassment to the league, I dare say. OK, so not everyone who wears the uniform should be allowed to suit up. Such is most certainly the case for Carlos Rogers, the greatest goat this side of the fairytale land of satyrs, unicorns, pixies, and winning TH seasons. This journalist found himself maintaining sanity amidst the botched stumbling of Josh McCown and his sidekicks by drinking heavily and choking down moldy peanuts. Now, to TH's credit, they willingly subjected themselves to this game, knowing full well how it was likely to turn out, but I place a great deal of blame on KIR for opting for this game over a likely more challenging foray against the Vienna Boy's Choir. So now the series stands KIR trails the all-time series 6-8 against TH. KIR has a 5-5 regular season record. TH has a 4-6 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw KIR has feasted upon TH like a bloated spider engorging on the tender underbelly of a common house fly 37-23 in front of a despondent home crowd. They were almost perfect on the KIR squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 287 points, 189 on offense and 98 on defense. Kyle Orton with 33 points on offense and Bruce Carter with 14 points on defense were the top scorers. All that aside, Don't Euthanize After Disaster award - given to one blundering fool each week - was really difficult to decide on this go around. I promise the poor slob that I won't be taking away his livelihood. This week, the DEAD man of the game goes to Donnie Avery. I've come up with a motivational plan for every player I deem to be failing to live up to their potential..." Says Donnie Avery, dragging around a cart full of dirty laundry, "Coach says he'll find a use for me in this system if it kills us both. Yo, just gimme a little slack, man. But this, goin' from starter not even to the bench... I'm bein' disrespected!" Thomas DeCoud added, "I ain't sayin' nothin'... OK, maybe just a little. Dude's even worse here than on the field. Starching everyone's straps? Using so much bleach it dissolves the danged cotton? I'm almost at the point where I want to go into Coach's doghouse just so I can get some properly handled laundry!" Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Kevin Snyder droned, "Thinking about them forces me to draw parallels between them and the Bulgarians." He was quick to add, "Erm, the Byzantine Empire had to deal with those clods... made themselves quite a nuisance 'til Basil crushed 'em and cut their eyes out - well, he left a couple of 'em with one eye so's they could guide the others home. I can't help but think that motivations such as that would help their cause." In response, the TH coach exclaimed, "Let's see... something nice to say? Well, they're not the most repugnant team out there, but that's kinda like saying that Shockey isn't as annoying as that Owens clown." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||