| Off | Def | Total | Score |
|---|
| Away | Demonic Hordes | 131 | 119 | 250 | 3 | | Home | WHO DAT | 161 | 125 | 286 | 21 |
| WHO DAT |
Demonic Hordes |
|---|
| I | Matt Moore QB MIA | 0 |
| I | Tony Romo QB DAL | 0 |
| S | Pat Devlin QB ??? | 0 |
| S | Ryan Tannehill QB MIA | 29 |
| I | Brandon Weeden QB DAL | 0 |
| S | Travis Frederick OC DAL | 9 |
| S | Willie Colon OG NYJ | 5 |
| I | D.J. Fluker OT LAC | 0 |
| I | Chris Chester OG WAS | 0 |
| I | Evan Smith OC TB | 0 |
| S | Clint Boling OG CIN | 3 |
| S | Ryan Harris OT KC | 3 |
| S | Demar Dotson OT TB | 2 |
| I | Fred Jackson RB BUF | 0 |
| S | Matt Forte RB CHI | 14 |
| B | Jordan Todman RB JAC | 2 |
| B | Calvin Johnson WR DET | 7 |
| S | Vincent Jackson WR TB | 19 |
| B | Harry Douglas WR ATL | 1 |
| I | Jerricho Cotchery WR CAR | 0 |
| I | Brian Hartline WR MIA | 0 |
| I | Eddie Royal WR LAC | 0 |
| S | Odell Beckham WR NYG | 22 |
| S | Scott Chandler TE BUF | 16 |
| I | Coby Fleener TE IND | 0 |
| B | Jim Dray TE CLE | 3 |
| S | Anthony Fasano TE KC | 12 |
| B | Brent Celek TE PHI | 7 |
| I | Nick Novak K LAC | 0 |
| S | Robbie Gould K CHI | 3 |
| S | Dallas OST DAL | 0 |
| S | Julius Peppers OLB GB | 16 |
| B | George Johnson DE DET | 1 |
| I | Frank Kearse DL WAS | 0 |
| B | Derrick Shelby DE MIA | 1 |
| B | Dee Ford OLB KC | 0 |
| S | Sammie Lee Hill NT TEN | 0 |
| B | Corey Peters DE ATL | 0 |
| S | Fletcher Cox DE PHI | 8 |
| B | Kamerion Wimbley OLB TEN | 1 |
| S | Connor Barwin OLB PHI | 20 |
| S | Willie Young DE CHI | 1 |
| S | Mychal Kendricks ILB PHI | 11 |
| B | David Hawthorne ILB NO | 0 |
| I | D'Qwell Jackson ILB IND | 0 |
| B | Danny Lansanah OLB TB | 3 |
| S | C.J. Mosley ILB BAL | 6 |
| S | Terence Newman CB CIN | 4 |
| B | Rashean Mathis CB DET | 2 |
| S | Joe Haden CB CLE | 9 |
| I | Prince Amukamara CB NYG | 0 |
| B | Chris Culliver CB SF | 7 |
| S | Charles Woodson S LV | 9 |
| B | Nate Allen S PHI | 5 |
| B | Kam Chancellor S SEA | 0 |
| B | Mike Mitchell S PIT | 2 |
| S | Rashad Johnson S ARI | 3 |
| I | Matt Bosher P ATL | 0 |
| S | Sam Koch P BAL | 11 |
| S | New York (A) DST NYJ | 5 |
|
| S | David Fales QB CHI | 0 |
| I | Jimmy Garoppolo QB NE | 0 |
| I | Tom Brady QB NE | 0 |
| S | Jay Cutler QB CHI | 13 |
| S | Jimmy Clausen QB CHI | 0 |
| I | Russell Bodine OC CIN | 0 |
| S | Corey Linsley OC GB | 13 |
| S | Mike McGlynn OG KC | 6 |
| S | Ramon Foster OG PIT | 3 |
| I | Brandon Brooks OG HOU | 0 |
| I | Jared Veldheer OT ARI | 0 |
| S | Luke Joeckel OT JAC | 3 |
| S | Terron Armstead OT NO | 8 |
| B | Zac Stacy RB LAR | 0 |
| B | Juwan Thompson RB DEN | -1 |
| S | Bishop Sankey RB TEN | 13 |
| B | Theo Riddick RB DET | 2 |
| B | Knile Davis RB KC | -1 |
| I | Alfred Morris RB WAS | 0 |
| S | Allen Robinson WR JAC | 14 |
| I | Keenan Allen WR LAC | 0 |
| B | Paul Richardson WR SEA | 1 |
| B | Rueben Randle WR NYG | 3 |
| I | Brian Quick WR LAR | 0 |
| S | Antonio Brown WR PIT | 8 |
| S | Anquan Boldin WR SF | 24 |
| B | Brandon Bostick TE GB | 2 |
| I | Dwayne Allen TE IND | 0 |
| S | Larry Donnell TE NYG | 16 |
| I | Niles Paul TE WAS | 0 |
| S | Mike Nugent K CIN | 4 |
| I | New England OST NE | 0 |
| S | Buffalo OST BUF | 0 |
| S | Charles Johnson DE CAR | 0 |
| S | Olivier Vernon DE MIA | 4 |
| I | Corey Liuget DE LAC | 0 |
| S | Brandon Williams NT BAL | 3 |
| B | Brock Coyle LB SEA | 2 |
| I | Jarvis Jones OLB PIT | 0 |
| I | Sean Weatherspoon OLB ??? | 0 |
| I | Akeem Ayers OLB NE | 0 |
| B | Cameron Jordan DE NO | 6 |
| I | Perry Riley ILB WAS | 0 |
| I | Brian Cushing ILB HOU | 0 |
| I | Mike Mohamed ILB HOU | 0 |
| S | Steven Johnson OLB DEN | 2 |
| S | Chris Borland ILB SF | 23 |
| I | Kiko Alonso MLB ??? | 0 |
| I | NaVorro Bowman MLB ??? | 0 |
| S | Jelani Jenkins OLB MIA | 12 |
| I | Janoris Jenkins CB LAR | 0 |
| I | Trumaine McBride CB NYG | 0 |
| S | Antoine Cason CB BAL | 3 |
| B | Jayron Hosley CB NYG | 1 |
| I | Shareece Wright CB LAC | 0 |
| S | Jason McCourty CB TEN | 10 |
| B | Micah Hyde CB GB | 4 |
| I | Phillip Thomas S WAS | 0 |
| I | Tyvon Branch S LV | 0 |
| I | Usama Young S LV | 0 |
| S | Quintin Demps S NYG | 13 |
| B | Lardarius Webb CB BAL | 3 |
| S | Barry Church S DAL | 6 |
| I | Robert Blanton S MIN | 0 |
| B | Brandian Ross S LV | 5 |
| S | J.J. Wilcox S DAL | 4 |
| I | Bryan Anger P JAC | 0 |
| S | Brett Kern P TEN | 17 |
| S | Cincinnati DST CIN | 1 |
|
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press)
incapable. That word does not even begin to describe the game I saw today. Despite the ambient weather, I found myself looking upon the cold, dark, windswept gridiron of my soul, agonizing for three gut-wrenching hours as my eyes were forced to witness the utter lack of skill exhibited by DH on this particular day. By the end of the opening kickoff, I could already feel the nausea, the lurching in my stomach. By the end of the first quarter, I began to contemplate gnawing off my own leg to escape. My tears flowed as freely as the cheap beer consumed by the semi-sentients surrounding me, not for the defeated, but for the death of all that I thought was good and pure about football.
And so now it stands that LLL trails the all-time series 5-33 against DH. LLL has a 6-4 regular season record. DH has a 4-6 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw LLL has feasted upon DH like a mink that suddenly finds that a family of mice has taken up residence in her den 21-3 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd.
They looked unstoppable on the LLL squad even though they did not excel on either side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 286 points, 161 on offense and 125 on defense. Tony Romo with 42 points on offense and Connor Barwin with 20 points on defense were the top scorers. However, they were far from perfect. Said Coach/GM Scott Lawrence, "There were some mental breakdowns on both sides of the ball.. For one, David Hawthorne kinda languished a bit out there. I've been working with Doc on a revolutionary new procedure... I won't go into the full details right now, but let's just say that he won't have an any excuse for dropping the damned ball anymore. As for those OST? They were utterly incompetent, gaining 3 Punt return, 24 Punt return yardage, 8 Punt return average, 2 Kickoff returns, 23 Kickoff return yardage, 11.5 Kickoff return average over the course of the contest. Overall though, the as voted on by his teammates, the most worthless player in this game was David Hawthorne. His awful effort yielded a resigned sigh from his teammates.
There's no love lost between these two clubs. Scott Lawrence quipped, "Like 'em? No... not really. I'd rather strangle puppies in front of a dozen orphans than pull that wretched owner of theirs out of a burning building." In response, the DH coach exclaimed, "I suppose every league needs a doormat. I feel some degree of scorn for them to be sure, but mostly, I just shake my head and watch them bumble their way from game to game with a sense of detached amusement." |
