| Off | Def | Total | Score |
|---|
| Away | WHO DAT | 187 | 134 | 321 | 51 | | Home | KC Komodos | 186 | 85 | 271 | 26 |
| KC Komodos |
WHO DAT |
|---|
| I | Charlie Whitehurst QB TEN | 0 |
| I | Zach Mettenberger QB TEN | 0 |
| S | Colin Kaepernick QB SF | 24 |
| S | McLeod Bethel-Thompson QB ??? | 0 |
| I | Jake Locker QB TEN | 0 |
| S | Blaine Gabbert QB SF | 0 |
| I | Nick Mangold OC NYJ | 0 |
| S | Samson Satele OC MIA | 5 |
| S | Louis Vasquez OG DEN | 7 |
| I | Joel Bitonio OG CLE | 0 |
| S | Seantrel Henderson OT BUF | 3 |
| I | Tyron Smith OT DAL | 0 |
| S | John Jerry OG NYG | 9 |
| S | Joe Staley OT SF | 7 |
| S | LeSean McCoy RB PHI | 15 |
| I | Reggie Bush RB DET | 0 |
| B | Ben Tate RB MIN | 0 |
| B | Terrance West RB CLE | 0 |
| S | Le'Veon Bell RB PIT | 35 |
| I | Vick Ballard RB ??? | 0 |
| B | Greg Jennings WR MIN | 0 |
| B | Pierre Garcon WR WAS | 1 |
| I | Percy Harvin WR NYJ | 0 |
| S | Emmanuel Sanders WR DEN | 23 |
| B | Andre Holmes WR LV | 1 |
| B | Andrew Hawkins WR CLE | 6 |
| S | Alshon Jeffery WR CHI | 25 |
| S | Martavis Bryant WR PIT | 3 |
| B | John Brown WR ARI | 3 |
| B | Kenny Stills WR NO | 4 |
| S | Dan Carpenter K BUF | 10 |
| I | Dan Bailey K DAL | 0 |
| S | Philadelphia OST PHI | 1 |
| B | Mario Addison DE CAR | 3 |
| B | Jabaal Sheard OLB CLE | 2 |
| S | Allen Bailey DE KC | 2 |
| S | Letroy Guion NT GB | 7 |
| I | Akiem Hicks DE NO | 0 |
| S | Rob Ninkovich DE NE | 9 |
| S | Nigel Bradham OLB BUF | 5 |
| B | Arthur Moats OLB PIT | 1 |
| I | Terrell Suggs OLB BAL | 0 |
| I | Daryl Smith ILB BAL | 0 |
| B | Jadeveon Clowney OLB HOU | 1 |
| S | Karlos Dansby ILB CLE | 2 |
| B | Prince Shembo ILB ATL | 2 |
| S | Kavell Conner ILB LAC | 11 |
| I | Demario Davis ILB NYJ | 0 |
| S | Brandon Marshall OLB DEN | 15 |
| S | Vontae Davis CB IND | 3 |
| B | Darius Butler CB IND | 1 |
| B | Stephon Gilmore CB BUF | 1 |
| B | Robert Alford CB ATL | 1 |
| S | Bradley Roby CB DEN | 1 |
| B | Devin McCourty S NE | 5 |
| S | Rahim Moore S DEN | 5 |
| S | Glover Quin S DET | 4 |
| I | Josh Evans S JAC | 0 |
| I | Spencer Lanning P CLE | 0 |
| S | Brad Nortman P CAR | 4 |
| S | Tennessee DST TEN | 0 |
|
| I | Tony Romo QB DAL | 0 |
| S | Matt Moore QB MIA | 0 |
| S | Pat Devlin QB ??? | 0 |
| S | Ryan Tannehill QB MIA | 40 |
| I | Brandon Weeden QB DAL | 0 |
| I | Travis Frederick OC DAL | 0 |
| I | Willie Colon OG NYJ | 0 |
| S | D.J. Fluker OT LAC | 5 |
| S | Chris Chester OG WAS | 5 |
| S | Evan Smith OC TB | 2 |
| S | Clint Boling OG CIN | 7 |
| S | Ryan Harris OT KC | 14 |
| I | Mitchell Schwartz OT CLE | 0 |
| S | Matt Forte RB CHI | 24 |
| B | Fred Jackson RB BUF | 0 |
| S | Calvin Johnson WR DET | 13 |
| B | Vincent Jackson WR TB | 2 |
| B | Harry Douglas WR ATL | 3 |
| I | Jerricho Cotchery WR CAR | 0 |
| I | Brian Hartline WR MIA | 0 |
| B | Eddie Royal WR LAC | 2 |
| S | Odell Beckham WR NYG | 18 |
| S | Scott Chandler TE BUF | 3 |
| S | Coby Fleener TE IND | 31 |
| I | Jim Dray TE CLE | 0 |
| B | Anthony Fasano TE KC | 0 |
| B | Brent Celek TE PHI | 2 |
| S | Nick Novak K LAC | 10 |
| I | Robbie Gould K CHI | 0 |
| S | Buffalo OST BUF | 6 |
| S | Julius Peppers OLB GB | 15 |
| B | George Johnson DE DET | 0 |
| B | Frank Kearse DL WAS | 2 |
| B | Derrick Shelby DE MIA | 2 |
| I | Dee Ford OLB KC | 0 |
| S | Sammie Lee Hill NT TEN | 0 |
| I | Corey Peters DE ATL | 0 |
| S | Fletcher Cox DE PHI | 4 |
| B | Kamerion Wimbley OLB TEN | 2 |
| S | Connor Barwin OLB PHI | 2 |
| S | Willie Young DE CHI | 4 |
| S | Mychal Kendricks ILB PHI | 5 |
| B | David Hawthorne ILB NO | 4 |
| S | D'Qwell Jackson ILB IND | 10 |
| B | Danny Lansanah OLB TB | 4 |
| I | C.J. Mosley ILB BAL | 0 |
| S | Terence Newman CB CIN | 0 |
| B | Rashean Mathis CB DET | 2 |
| S | Joe Haden CB CLE | 17 |
| I | Prince Amukamara CB NYG | 0 |
| B | Chris Culliver CB SF | 6 |
| S | Charles Woodson S LV | 14 |
| B | Nate Allen S PHI | 2 |
| B | Kam Chancellor S SEA | 3 |
| B | Mike Mitchell S PIT | 2 |
| S | Rashad Johnson S ARI | 11 |
| S | Matt Bosher P ATL | 16 |
| I | Sam Koch P BAL | 0 |
| S | Detroit DST DET | 7 |
|
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press)
awful. That word does not even begin to describe the game I saw today. Despite the ambient weather, I found myself looking upon the cold, dark, windswept gridiron of my soul, agonizing for three gut-wrenching hours as my eyes were forced to witness the utter lack of skill exhibited by SP on this particular day. By the end of the opening kickoff, I could already feel the nausea, the lurching in my stomach. By the end of the first quarter, I began to contemplate gnawing off my own leg to escape. My tears flowed as freely as the cheap beer consumed by the semi-sentients surrounding me, not for the defeated, but for the death of all that I thought was good and pure about football.
And so now it stands that LLL leads the all-time series 25-11 against SP. LLL has a 7-4 regular season record. SP has a 6-5 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw LLL has senselessly deluged SP as though they were naught but a group of frenchmen on the battlefield 51-26 in front of a despondent home crowd.
They were almost perfect on the LLL squad on both sides of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 321 points, 187 on offense and 134 on defense. Ryan Tannehill with 40 points on offense and Joe Haden with 17 points on defense were the top scorers. Several mental breakdowns drew the coach's ire. Said Coach/GM Scott Lawrence, "We had a few breakdowns. . For one, Derrick Shelby played about as well as a frog pithed by an epileptic first-grader. Doc says that if he spent a little more time working off the flubber in his midsection than 'clubbing' and getting fat on the buck-a-bucket combo at the KFC, well, his medical list wouldn't read like a copy of 'War and Peace'. Back in my day, 'clubbing' was something untoward that you did to baby seals . As for those NT? They showed all the football grace of ballerinas as they filled the record book with absolutely nothing throughout the course of their pitiful performance. Overall though, the as voted on by his teammates, the most worthless player in this game was Terence Newman. His bad effort yielded a resigned sigh from his teammates.
Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Scott Lawrence noted, "They stink, not in that 'festering sewage inside a porta-potty next to a dead, bloated cow floating in a culvert' way, but more in the 'the Vienna Boy's Choir has more football talent' way." In response, the SP coach blathered, "Gosh... why are you even wasting my time looking for a comment about them? They're kinda like cockroaches - to be sure, they occasionally crawl out of the woodwork to be seen by all, but usually, they're lurking somewhere out of sight." |
