Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) I get paid very well doing something I usually enjoy. There are, however, occasional games that I only report on under silent protest. Let me begin by being brutally honest. PC is quite the disgusting team, wholly outclassed in all aspects of the game by OA. I love football. The stale smell of rancid beer, the sweaty crowd of rabid fans, the cross-eyed and homely cheerleaders trying to incite us to collective ear-drum rupturing noise, the reverberating sound of vicious collisions, the poetic beauty of a laser-guided bullet pass crashing into the receiver's outstretched hands - yes, this is what I live for. This is what I saw today. Kudos to OA for pulling out our self-help electroshock therapy kit, crushing them and definitively putting on the superior show, but overall, it was quite a frenetic, enjoyable game. Robert Griffin shot, "Whoa... we got our backends handed to us today and that's for sure. Coach is steering us toward a high draft pick and a wasted season. I can only hope that he trades me to someone capable of winning before my career ends." Derek Anderson exclaimed, "It really doesn't matter, I mean, we lost the game. I had full command of everything that was going on out there, just like I thought I would. I mean, again, you try to practice hard to try and prepare you for the game, but when you get in game situation, you have to take care of the little things and I think we didn't do that today OA has demoralized PC as though they were palace eunuchs in a wrestling match, crushing them by the tune of 40-33 in front of a despondent home crowd. OA leads the all-time series 10-4 against PC. OA has a 5-6 regular season record. PC has a 7-4 regular season record. They looked unstoppable on the OA squad even though they did not excel on either side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 251 points, 163 on offense and 88 on defense. Matt Ryan with 42 points on offense and Marquette King with 16 points on defense were the top scorers. Things were not all roses, however. Said Coach/GM Adam Murgittroyd, "Sure, I'm a bit concerned about a few things.. For one, Paul Richardson played about as well as a frog pithed by an epileptic first-grader. Doc says that if he spent a little more time working off the flubber in his midsection than 'clubbing' and getting fat on the buck-a-bucket combo at the KFC, well, his medical list wouldn't read like a copy of 'War and Peace'. Back in my day, 'clubbing' was something untoward that you did to baby seals . As for those DL? They were utterly incompetent, gaining 2 Tackles throughout the course of their pitiful performance. Overall though, the as voted on by his teammates, the most worthless player in this game was Dennis Kelly. There's no love lost between these two clubs. Adam Murgittroyd quipped, "Thinking about them forces me to draw parallels between them and the Bulgarians." He was quick to add, "Erm, the Byzantine Empire had to deal with those clods... made themselves quite a nuisance 'til Basil crushed 'em and cut their eyes out - well, he left a couple of 'em with one eye so's they could guide the others home. I can't help but think that motivations such as that would help their cause." In response, the PC coach considered this when he said, "I'm not saying that this is true, mind you, but I'm not saying it isn't. I heard tell that that owner of theirs has been kidnapping small children and selling them on the Chinese black market. Do I respect him? Does anyone?" | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||