| Off | Def | Total | Score |
|---|
| Away | Steel Curtain | 162 | 86 | 248 | 14 | | Home | Southside Salamanders | 224 | 134 | 358 | 69 |
| Southside Salamanders |
Steel Curtain |
|---|
| S | Scott Tolzien QB GB | 0 |
| I | Ryan Nassib QB NYG | 0 |
| S | Matt Flynn QB GB | 0 |
| I | Eli Manning QB NYG | 0 |
| S | Aaron Rodgers QB GB | 42 |
| I | Scott Wells OC LAR | 0 |
| S | Ben Jones OC HOU | 6 |
| I | James Carpenter OG SEA | 0 |
| S | T.J. Lang OG GB | 14 |
| S | Josh Sitton OG GB | 14 |
| S | Will Beatty OT NYG | 9 |
| S | Duane Brown OT HOU | 6 |
| I | Riley Reiff OT DET | 0 |
| B | Kyle Juszczyk FB BAL | 6 |
| I | Danny Woodhead RB LAC | 0 |
| B | Benny Cunningham RB LAR | 3 |
| S | Joique Bell RB DET | 11 |
| I | Arian Foster RB HOU | 0 |
| S | Jamaal Charles RB KC | 26 |
| I | De'Anthony Thomas RB KC | 0 |
| S | Davante Adams WR GB | 3 |
| B | Taylor Gabriel WR CLE | 2 |
| B | Marqise Lee WR JAC | 4 |
| I | Markus Wheaton WR PIT | 0 |
| I | Aaron Dobson WR NE | 0 |
| B | Robert Woods WR BUF | 9 |
| I | Rod Streater WR LV | 0 |
| B | Kendall Wright WR TEN | 2 |
| I | Brandon Williams TE CAR | 0 |
| B | Daniel Fells TE NYG | 5 |
| S | Jared Cook TE LAR | 18 |
| S | Kyle Rudolph TE MIN | 18 |
| B | C.J. Fiedorowicz TE HOU | 2 |
| I | Cairo Santos K KC | 0 |
| S | Mason Crosby K GB | 11 |
| S | Dallas OST DAL | 9 |
| S | Ryan Kerrigan OLB WAS | 10 |
| I | Wes Horton DE CAR | 0 |
| S | Mike Daniels DE GB | 8 |
| S | Malik Jackson DE DEN | 7 |
| I | B.J. Raji NT ??? | 0 |
| I | Steve McLendon NT PIT | 0 |
| B | Koa Misi OLB MIA | 6 |
| S | Jacquian Williams OLB NYG | 0 |
| B | Nick Perry OLB GB | 0 |
| S | Wesley Woodyard ILB TEN | 11 |
| I | Danny Trevathan OLB DEN | 0 |
| I | Ryan Shazier ILB PIT | 0 |
| B | A.J. Hawk ILB GB | 6 |
| S | Curtis Lofton ILB NO | 11 |
| B | Travis Carrie CB LV | 0 |
| S | Sam Shields CB GB | 4 |
| B | Casey Hayward CB GB | 2 |
| S | Desmond Trufant CB ATL | 6 |
| B | Kyle Fuller CB CHI | 6 |
| I | Jason Verrett CB LAC | 0 |
| S | Mike Adams S IND | 10 |
| B | Ha Ha Clinton-Dix S GB | 8 |
| I | Delano Howell S ??? | 0 |
| B | Eric Berry S KC | 6 |
| S | Reshad Jones S MIA | 10 |
| B | George Iloka S CIN | 5 |
| I | Tim Masthay P GB | 0 |
| S | Johnny Hekker P LAR | 15 |
| S | Baltimore DST BAL | 3 |
|
| I | Ben Roethlisberger QB PIT | 0 |
| S | Chad Henne QB JAC | 0 |
| I | Bruce Gradkowski QB PIT | 0 |
| I | Landry Jones QB PIT | 0 |
| S | Blake Bortles QB JAC | 12 |
| I | Roberto Garza OC CHI | 0 |
| I | Jeremy Zuttah OC BAL | 0 |
| S | Bryan Stork OC NE | 13 |
| I | David DeCastro OG PIT | 0 |
| I | Marcus Gilbert OT PIT | 0 |
| S | Nate Solder OT NE | 15 |
| S | Orlando Franklin OG DEN | 12 |
| S | LaAdrian Waddle OT DET | 4 |
| S | Greg Robinson OG LAR | 9 |
| S | Trent Richardson RB IND | 11 |
| I | C.J. Spiller RB BUF | 0 |
| B | Bryce Brown RB BUF | 1 |
| S | Andre Williams RB NYG | 13 |
| I | Charles Sims III RB TB | 0 |
| B | Stepfan Taylor RB ARI | 1 |
| S | Julio Jones WR ATL | 20 |
| B | Marlon Brown WR BAL | 1 |
| B | Nick Toon WR NO | 2 |
| B | Justin Hunter WR TEN | 5 |
| B | Kenbrell Thompkins WR LV | 0 |
| I | Greg Olsen TE CAR | 0 |
| S | Andrew Quarless TE GB | 20 |
| B | Levine Toilolo TE ATL | 2 |
| B | David Ausberry TE LV | 0 |
| S | Julius Thomas TE DEN | 0 |
| S | Sebastian Janikowski K LV | 8 |
| I | Josh Scobee K JAC | 0 |
| S | Indianapolis OST IND | 13 |
| S | Ropati Pitoitua DE TEN | 0 |
| I | Chris Long DE LAR | 0 |
| S | Gerald McCoy DT TB | 9 |
| S | Calais Campbell DE ARI | 16 |
| S | Ndamukong Suh DT DET | 9 |
| I | Sean Lee OLB ??? | 0 |
| B | Brooks Reed OLB HOU | 2 |
| B | Vontaze Burfict OLB CIN | 0 |
| S | Khalil Mack OLB LV | 4 |
| B | Nate Irving MLB DEN | 0 |
| I | Lamin Barrow MLB DEN | 0 |
| B | Anthony Hitchens OLB DAL | 4 |
| B | Nick Roach MLB LV | 0 |
| B | Jon Beason MLB NYG | 0 |
| S | Preston Brown MLB BUF | 5 |
| S | Lavonte David OLB TB | 0 |
| S | Alfonzo Dennard CB NE | 0 |
| S | Chris Harris CB DEN | 9 |
| I | Stanley Jean-Baptiste CB NO | 0 |
| B | Kareem Jackson CB HOU | 0 |
| S | Earl Thomas III S SEA | 3 |
| B | Will Hill DB BAL | 9 |
| I | Shamarko Thomas S PIT | 0 |
| S | Tyrann Mathieu S ARI | 4 |
| B | Eric Reid S SF | 2 |
| I | Jeff Locke P MIN | 0 |
| S | Ryan Quigley P NYJ | 7 |
| S | Indianapolis DST IND | 3 |
|
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press)
If Andrew Quarless's body of work exemplifies the high-point of your weekend, you know that you're on the losing end of a sordid, sick joke of a game. Words utterly fail to describe this romp into the realms of ineptitude. When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope. Standing here in the garish, filth-ridden stands of this now-empty stadium after the game, I got to thinking - such is truly the fate of both fans of the SC squad. In the end, this team is just hopeless.
And so now it stands that SRS leads the all-time series 29-9 against SC. SRS has a 11-1 regular season record. SC has a 3-9 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw SRS has beaten SC as though they were an all you can eat buffet residing next to a weight-watcher's clinic 69-14 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd.
They looked unstoppable on the SRS squad on both sides of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 358 points, 224 on offense and 134 on defense. Eli Manning with 47 points on offense and Tim Masthay with 18 points on defense were the top scorers. Several mental breakdowns drew the coach's ire. Said Coach/GM Allen Cummings, "There were some mental breakdowns on both sides of the ball.. For one, Ben Jones was as sharp as a sponge today. Medically speaking, his body should be donated to science, there's so much wrong with him. At least, that's gotta be the case given the number of plays he likes to take off . As for those DST? They showed all the football grace of ballerinas as they filled the record book with 1 Punt returns defended, 7 Defended punt return yardage, 7 Defended punt return average, 1 Defended kickoff returns, 20 Defended kickoff return yardage, 20 Defended kickoff return average instead of playing. Overall though, the the most incompetant player in this game was Matt Flynn. His nasty effort yielded nothing but the scorn of his teammates.
Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Allen Cummings shot, "I suppose every league needs a doormat. I feel some degree of scorn for them to be sure, but mostly, I just shake my head and watch them bumble their way from game to game with a sense of detached amusement." In response, the SC coach quipped, "That owner of theirs kinda reminds me of a Matt Millen and Michael Jackson hybrid... all bluster, melting face, questionable personal tastes... not exactly the kind of person I'd invite to my child's birthday party." |
