Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) When I was a young lad, I once ate my sister's homework. My father, as unhappy as a politician running for re-election while in the midst of another scandal, told me to retrieve a pickle. He then heaved me atop the compost heap and taught me the meaning of life. The scars of that memory live on today. I bring this up because the similarities between what happened to me then and what happened to SP today are the same. DH has staggered SP as though they were horses being sent to the glue factory, overcoming their foes by the tune of 27-26 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. DH leads the all-time series 34-5 against SP. DH has a 5-7 regular season record. SP has a 6-6 regular season record. Emmanuel Sanders stated, "We know it's going to be a hard-fought game when we play these clowns - tough, physical... It's important to win the physical football games because you put so much into it. We didn't do that today. Every time I looked up, I heard the crowd and I figured it was another turnover. It's tough to lose when you've worked all week. Mentally, you have to let it go." Reggie Bush gurgled, "I'm very disappointed in myself, the way I played as one of the 60 leaders on this football team. It starts with me watching someone get the ball into the hands of the right guy and watch him making the plays... cheering on the others making the tackles... I did that. That falls on me. We're not going to win football games if they don't do their part." They were almost perfect on the DH squad particularly on the defensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 271 points, 140 on offense and 131 on defense. Tom Brady with 48 points on offense and Janoris Jenkins with 23 points on defense were the top scorers. Mistakes dampened the mood around the locker room somewhat. Said Coach/GM Raman Ohri, "Sure, I'm a bit concerned about a few things.. For one, Alvin Bailey performed like a spasmodic violinist. Doc says that if he spent a little more time working off the flubber in his midsection than 'clubbing' and getting fat on the buck-a-bucket combo at the KFC, well, his medical list wouldn't read like a copy of 'War and Peace'. Back in my day, 'clubbing' was something untoward that you did to baby seals . As for those OT? They showed all the football grace of ballerinas as they filled the record book with absolutely nothing over the course of the contest. Overall though, the as voted on by his teammates, the most worthless player in this game was Jimmy Clausen. His hideous effort yielded an expletive-laden outburst from me, I must admit. I've come up with a motivational plan for every player I deem to be failing to live up to their potential..." Says Jimmy Clausen, pouring out of a far-too-tight yellow bikini, "I have nothing to say about this." Damien Williams added, "Words fail me... got it? I ain't had a single night's sleep since coach made that call last Monday, man. I keep waking up screaming. I mean dang, man... time to put some time on the thigh-master." There's no love lost between these two clubs. Raman Ohri waxed poetic, stating, "Gosh... why are you even wasting my time looking for a comment about them? They're kinda like cockroaches - to be sure, they occasionally crawl out of the woodwork to be seen by all, but usually, they're lurking somewhere out of sight." In response, the SP coach quipped, "Hitler, Stalin... perhaps a few others... yeah, he belongs on that exclusive list, if you catch my drift. I sleep well at night, but given all the people he's no doubt stomped on to get where he is, I doubt the same can be said of him." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||