Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) I get paid very well doing something I usually enjoy. There are, however, occasional games that I only report on under silent protest. Let me begin by being brutally honest. MHD is quite the unsightly team, wholly outclassed in all aspects of the game by HVC. Yikes! MHD has just completed a game in which they, proverbially speaking, tossed a frog in the microwave. To point fingers after this debacle would be unfair given that this most assuredly was a team effort - and that's the only positive spin I can put on the game. Russell Wilson noted, "To say that we stunk would be unfair to skunks and unwashed monks, man. We were awful today! Do you see us getting any better in time for the next game, 'cause I sure don't. The guys played with no fire, the coaching was flat, and the playcalling was atrocious. Our execution? Yeah, I'm for it." Frank Gore gurgled, 'There's really no way that you can shut them down.We had to resort to some... dubious tactics to stay in the game at all. You don't want to see anyone get hurt seriously, but this defense of ours is different. We're coming to hit, we're coming to hurt. When we get the chance to deliver the punch, we are going to try to knock people out... now if only our opponents occasionally noticed, eh?" HVC prostrated MHD like a mink that suddenly finds that a family of mice has taken up residence in her den, overcoming their foes by the tune of 80-64 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. HVC leads the all-time series 15-13 against MHD. HVC has a 2-10 regular season record. MHD has a 7-5 regular season record. Things went very well for the HVC squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 332 points, 256 on offense and 76 on defense. Mark Sanchez with 36 points on offense and Thomas Morstead with 15 points on defense were the top scorers. Things were not all roses, however. Said Coach/GM Joe Rupp, "We have to get a lot better next week.. For one, Isaiah Crowell was as sharp as a sponge today. Stimulus. Response. That's all there is to it. Pavlov had a dog and I've got this idiot. I've noticed that the red tazer in particular gets him ready for the games. As for those DST? They showed all the football grace of ballerinas as they filled the record book with 3 Punt returns defended, 23 Defended punt return yardage, 7.6667 Defended punt return average while taking the day off. Overall though, the Doc's been looking into a revolutionary new surgery - replace his hands with anything - stickum, chicken claws, even bricks would be an improvement. I mean, he drops balls as if they were live ferrets. in this game was Ryan Fitzpatrick. There's no love lost between these two clubs. Joe Rupp stated, "That owner of theirs kinda reminds me of a Matt Millen and Michael Jackson hybrid... all bluster, melting face, questionable personal tastes... not exactly the kind of person I'd invite to my child's birthday party." In response, the MHD coach said, "Let's see... something nice to say? Well, they're not the most repugnant team out there, but that's kinda like saying that Shockey isn't as annoying as that Owens clown." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||