Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) I get paid very well doing something I usually enjoy. There are, however, occasional games that I only report on under silent protest. Let me begin by being brutally honest. MHD is quite the blundering team, wholly outclassed in all aspects of the game by SP. I love football. The stale smell of rancid beer, the sweaty crowd of rabid fans, the cross-eyed and homely cheerleaders trying to incite us to collective ear-drum rupturing noise, the reverberating sound of vicious collisions, the poetic beauty of a laser-guided bullet pass crashing into the receiver's outstretched hands - yes, this is what I live for. This is what I saw today. Kudos to SP for pulling out the leftover turkey, blitzing them and definitively putting on the superior show, but overall, it was quite a frenetic, enjoyable game. Rob Gronkowski whined, "We know it's going to be a hard-fought game when we play these clowns - tough, physical... It's important to win the physical football games because you put so much into it. We didn't do that today. Every time I looked up, I heard the crowd and I figured it was another turnover. It's tough to lose when you've worked all week. Mentally, you have to let it go." Matt Schaub quipped, "Oh fo real, man. Ya see, I is da real thing. Dose drops, man. Dat weren't my fault, dawg. Th playa wuz trowing too hard and I run the wrong play jus so's he can't find me. No sense me breakin' my assets, man... No sense me making it on 'Jacked Up' or nothin'. No matter... I be back, bro. Expect numba ME to grab up 60 scores this season, yo. Dem otha's, man? I gonna steal the show. They's amateurs spelt wit a capital E." SP pulverizing MHD as though they were horses being sent to the glue factory, blitzing them by the tune of 36-35 in front of a despondent home crowd. SP leads the all-time series 12-7 against MHD. SP has a 6-6 regular season record (1-0 in this year's playoffs). MHD has a 7-5 regular season record (0-1 in this year's playoffs). They were almost perfect on the SP squad on both sides of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 320 points, 189 on offense and 131 on defense. Le'Veon Bell with 46 points on offense and Nigel Bradham with 19 points on defense were the top scorers. However, they were far from perfect. Said Coach/GM Michael Sutanto, "We had a few breakdowns. . For one, Mario Addison was clearly showing some ill-effects from his intestinal parasite. I've been working with Doc on a revolutionary new procedure... I won't go into the full details right now, but let's just say that he won't have an any excuse for dropping the damned ball anymore. As for those OST? They showed their ineptitude by amassing 3 Punt return, 32 Punt return yardage, 10.667 Punt return average while taking the day off. Overall though, the team goat in this game was Jake Locker. "Dem's fightin' woids!": Fuel was added to the fire during the two teams' post game news conferences. Michael Sutanto blathered, "Thinking about them forces me to draw parallels between them and the Bulgarians." He was quick to add, "Erm, the Byzantine Empire had to deal with those clods... made themselves quite a nuisance 'til Basil crushed 'em and cut their eyes out - well, he left a couple of 'em with one eye so's they could guide the others home. I can't help but think that motivations such as that would help their cause." In response, the MHD coach exclaimed, "Like 'em? No... not really. I'd rather strangle puppies in front of a dozen orphans than pull that wretched owner of theirs out of a burning building." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||