| Off | Def | Total | Score |
|---|
| Away | KC Komodos | 204 | 114 | 318 | 39 | | Home | WHO DAT | 215 | 127 | 342 | 51 |
| WHO DAT |
KC Komodos |
|---|
| I | Tony Romo QB DAL | 0 |
| S | Matt Moore QB MIA | 0 |
| I | Pat Devlin QB ??? | 0 |
| S | Ryan Tannehill QB MIA | 31 |
| I | Brandon Weeden QB DAL | 0 |
| S | Travis Frederick OC DAL | 11 |
| I | Willie Colon OG NYJ | 0 |
| S | D.J. Fluker OT LAC | 1 |
| S | Chris Chester OG WAS | 2 |
| I | Evan Smith OC TB | 0 |
| S | Clint Boling OG CIN | 10 |
| S | Ryan Harris OT KC | 7 |
| I | Mitchell Schwartz OT CLE | 0 |
| S | Matt Forte RB CHI | 23 |
| I | Darren McFadden RB LV | 0 |
| B | Fred Jackson RB BUF | 5 |
| S | Calvin Johnson WR DET | 33 |
| B | Vincent Jackson WR TB | 8 |
| B | Harry Douglas WR ATL | 2 |
| I | Jerricho Cotchery WR CAR | 0 |
| I | Brian Hartline WR MIA | 0 |
| B | Eddie Royal WR LAC | 1 |
| S | Odell Beckham WR NYG | 34 |
| B | Scott Chandler TE BUF | 7 |
| B | Anthony Fasano TE KC | 2 |
| S | Brent Celek TE PHI | 3 |
| S | Coby Fleener TE IND | 20 |
| I | Robbie Gould K CHI | 0 |
| S | Nick Novak K LAC | 5 |
| S | Buffalo OST BUF | 6 |
| S | Julius Peppers OLB GB | 4 |
| B | George Johnson DE DET | 2 |
| I | Frank Kearse DL WAS | 0 |
| I | Derrick Shelby DE MIA | 0 |
| I | Dee Ford OLB KC | 0 |
| S | Sammie Lee Hill NT TEN | 2 |
| B | Corey Peters DE ATL | 1 |
| S | Fletcher Cox DE PHI | 12 |
| B | Kamerion Wimbley OLB TEN | 0 |
| B | Connor Barwin OLB PHI | 5 |
| S | Willie Young DE CHI | 7 |
| B | Mychal Kendricks ILB PHI | 9 |
| B | David Hawthorne ILB NO | 3 |
| S | D'Qwell Jackson ILB IND | 4 |
| S | Danny Lansanah OLB TB | 9 |
| S | C.J. Mosley ILB BAL | 11 |
| S | Terence Newman CB CIN | 9 |
| B | Rashean Mathis CB DET | 4 |
| S | Joe Haden CB CLE | 9 |
| I | Prince Amukamara CB NYG | 0 |
| B | Chris Culliver CB SF | 1 |
| S | Charles Woodson S LV | 13 |
| B | Nate Allen S PHI | 3 |
| B | Kam Chancellor S SEA | 2 |
| B | Mike Mitchell S PIT | 3 |
| S | Rashad Johnson S ARI | 0 |
| S | Matt Bosher P ATL | 14 |
| I | Sam Koch P BAL | 0 |
| S | Detroit DST DET | 0 |
|
| I | Charlie Whitehurst QB TEN | 0 |
| I | Zach Mettenberger QB TEN | 0 |
| S | Colin Kaepernick QB SF | 14 |
| S | McLeod Bethel-Thompson QB ??? | 0 |
| I | Jake Locker QB TEN | 0 |
| S | Blaine Gabbert QB SF | 0 |
| I | Nick Mangold OC NYJ | 0 |
| S | Samson Satele OC MIA | 1 |
| S | Louis Vasquez OG DEN | 13 |
| I | Joel Bitonio OG CLE | 0 |
| I | Seantrel Henderson OT BUF | 0 |
| S | Tyron Smith OT DAL | 14 |
| S | John Jerry OG NYG | 13 |
| S | Joe Staley OT SF | 3 |
| S | LeSean McCoy RB PHI | 1 |
| B | Reggie Bush RB DET | 2 |
| B | Ben Tate RB MIN | 1 |
| B | Terrance West RB CLE | 1 |
| S | Le'Veon Bell RB PIT | 54 |
| I | Vick Ballard RB ??? | 0 |
| B | Greg Jennings WR MIN | 4 |
| B | Pierre Garcon WR WAS | 6 |
| B | Percy Harvin WR NYJ | 6 |
| S | Emmanuel Sanders WR DEN | 12 |
| B | Andre Holmes WR LV | 2 |
| B | Andrew Hawkins WR CLE | 2 |
| S | Alshon Jeffery WR CHI | 24 |
| B | Martavis Bryant WR PIT | 6 |
| B | John Brown WR ARI | 0 |
| S | Kenny Stills WR NO | 6 |
| I | Dan Carpenter K BUF | 0 |
| S | Dan Bailey K DAL | 13 |
| S | Philadelphia OST PHI | 6 |
| I | Mario Addison DE CAR | 0 |
| I | Jabaal Sheard OLB CLE | 0 |
| S | Allen Bailey DE KC | 0 |
| S | Letroy Guion NT GB | 2 |
| B | Akiem Hicks DE NO | 2 |
| S | Rob Ninkovich DE NE | 9 |
| S | Nigel Bradham OLB BUF | 4 |
| B | Arthur Moats OLB PIT | 7 |
| B | Terrell Suggs OLB BAL | 6 |
| S | Daryl Smith ILB BAL | 6 |
| I | Jadeveon Clowney OLB HOU | 0 |
| I | Karlos Dansby ILB CLE | 0 |
| B | Prince Shembo ILB ATL | 3 |
| B | Kavell Conner ILB LAC | 4 |
| S | Demario Davis ILB NYJ | 5 |
| S | Brandon Marshall OLB DEN | 16 |
| I | Vontae Davis CB IND | 0 |
| I | Darius Butler CB IND | 0 |
| S | Stephon Gilmore CB BUF | 10 |
| I | Robert Alford CB ATL | 0 |
| S | Bradley Roby CB DEN | 13 |
| S | Devin McCourty S NE | 5 |
| B | Rahim Moore S DEN | 4 |
| S | Glover Quin S DET | 9 |
| B | Josh Evans S JAC | 3 |
| I | Spencer Lanning P CLE | 0 |
| S | Brad Nortman P CAR | 5 |
| S | Tennessee DST TEN | 1 |
|
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press)
Le'Veon Bell blathered, "The win, see... dat's da importan' thing, peace, bro." When confronted with the reality that they had, in fact, lost, he blushed and added, "Yo man I ain't stupid or nothin'. I ain't talkin' 'bout no darned game... I mean them individual plays. That 3rd and 18 we had in the third quarter? You man, we gained six - count 'em, six yards on that play! That was an awesome end-around, man!" Well no kidding, Einstein. SP was bad. Awful. Grotesque. An embarrassment to the league, I dare say. "You want fries with that?" Yep, we'll be hearing that from Karlos Dansby in the near-future after this week's performance. After a time, I began to play a game, counting the seconds between mistakes, waiting with giddy excitement while seeing that head coach of theirs as angered as an environmentalist stuck in a room full of Bolivian slash-n-burn agriculturalists.
So now the series stands LLL leads the all-time series 26-11 against SP. LLL has a 8-4 regular season record (1-0 in this year's playoffs) having just won the Division Championship game. SP has a 6-6 regular season record (1-1 in this year's playoffs) having just lost the Division Championship game. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw LLL prostrated SP as though the unfortunate loser were a snail dropped in a jar of saline solution 51-39 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd.
They looked unstoppable on the LLL squad on both sides of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 342 points, 215 on offense and 127 on defense. Tony Romo with 43 points on offense and Mychal Kendricks with 17 points on defense were the top scorers. All that aside, team goat of the game goes to Evan Dietrich-Smith. In the end, these men are kinda like my kids. As any parent knows, from time to time, you just can't always get through to them without getting creative..."
Says Evan Dietrich-Smith, pouring out of a far-too-tight yellow bikini, "I have nothing to say about this."
Willie Young added, "Words fail me... got it? I ain't had a single night's sleep since coach made that call last Monday, man. I keep waking up screaming. I mean dang, man... time to put some time on the thigh-master."
Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Scott Lawrence shot, "They stink, not in that 'festering sewage inside a porta-potty next to a dead, bloated cow floating in a culvert' way, but more in the 'the Vienna Boy's Choir has more football talent' way." In response, the SP coach exclaimed, "Gosh... why are you even wasting my time looking for a comment about them? They're kinda like cockroaches - to be sure, they occasionally crawl out of the woodwork to be seen by all, but usually, they're lurking somewhere out of sight." |
